I saw this over at Liberality's blog and it looked liked fun so I decided to do it over here. I now present thirteen things I'd never say:1) "I sure am glad I voted Republican!" (I've never voted for a Republican in my life, ever.)
2) "Boy, I hope the Yankees win the World Series!" (I've been a New York Yankees hater all my life.)
3) "Am I driving too fast hon?" (I've been accused of having a lead foot.)
4) "Damn, that was one tasty Big Mac!" (While I'll admit to eating at McDonald's far too often before my heart attack, I'll never eat there again.)
5) "I'll have a double Scotch please Mr. Bartender." (I got deathly drunk and then even deathlier sick on Scotch when I was in high school and now it makes me queasy to even smell it.)
6) "Hey hon, let's drive down to Knoxville and go see the Vols play 'Bama this weekend." (I took Sparky to one college football game and we had to leave at halftime because she hated it so much. But oddly enough she loved the minor league hockey game I took her to that one time.)
7) "Nothing on TV worth watching? I'll just put A Year in Provence in the ol' DVD player and we'll watch it again." ( Sparky loves the A & E adaption of A Year in Provence, which I got her for her birthday a few years back but I'd rather claw my eyes out with a rusty tin can lid than watch it again.)
8) "I could make a meal out of parsnips, turnips, and beets." (Yuck. I'd sooner chew off my fingers than eat those particular vegetables.)
9) "Gee I hope they're showing the Notre Dame game on TV." (They always show a Notre Dame football game on TV, no matter how bad they suck.)
10) "Nixon got a raw deal." (No, it turns out he was wrong, Nixon was a crook. And an asshole as well.)
11) "Boy those guys at Fox News are sooooooo right." (It makes me vomit in my mouth a little to even flip past Fox on my TV and that Malkin guy scares the shit out of me, he's one scary transvestite.)
12) "Hurry up hon, we're gonna be late for church!" (I stopped going to church years ago.)
13) "Are these my Marlboro Lights?" (I stopped smoking cold turkey on Aug. 4, 2004 and I have not had a smoke since. And you know what? Despite being a pack and a half a day smoker, it wasn't that hard for me to quit.)
7 comments:
Damn. I could claim the same on twelve of these. Are we twin sons/daughters of different mommies? Or just too f*cking cool for school?
I would eat all your parsnips, turnips and beets for you, if we ever had the chance to share a meal. I would do that for you, cause that's just how I am.
I quit cold turkey myself, Dr., and agree, it wasn't hard at all. It helped I was sick to death of it (the smell, the way it made me feel, and the way it antagonized my at that time undiagnosed athsma), so for anyone thinking of quitting, just do it!
Also as a good irish boy, I love my root vegetables. Parsnips and turnips are some of my favs! And beets are amazing!!
I know I will never convince you, I am just saying is all.
Fun! You and Bossy can *not* say those things together? Because Bossy is so into Not saying them.
6. well, of course she likes hockey better than football. what sane person doesn't???? football is BORING (almost as boring as baseball). and hockey players are always better looking too.
Beth-You're too cool to have sprung from the same gene pool as me dear.
Barb-That's good to know.
Devilham-Sometimes when I sniff some smoke I still have a little twinge of want for a Marlboro Light.
Bossy-You tease. Let's concentrate on what we can say together rather than what we won't say. :)
Notsoccermom-Watch it girl. In my sports pantheon baseball and football come before hockey.
Hey, I can relate to that lead foot thing. And the church thing. And the parsnip and turnips, but not the beets. And the football, but not the hocky and the scotch ewwwwwww. And....that's it.
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