...so I told her, "I'd sooner have sex with a hobo than I would go to a Methodist church." Oh, hi, I didn't see you all out there. I'm, uhhhh, just doing some spot cleaning and not drinking the cleaning solvent again. Let me tell you I learned my lesson the last time I chugged some of this stuff! Anyhoo, like I said I'm just cleaning here and while I'm cleaning I'm thinking about how much I hate Hillary Clinton because if she was elected President then she might drag us back to the years when more Americans were better off financially than they are today. We simply can't let the gains we white priviliged people have made over the past years trickle down to the unwashed masses. That would defeat the purpose of everything Bush/Cheney have done over the life of their administration.
Weeeeeeeee! I'm sledding down the mountain of debt that's been created by the Iraq war! I hope we keep fighting it forever so this mountain gets higher and higher so I can slide faster and faster! Oh yeah, I also hope that the gays never get the right to marry and that we never have socialist medicine in the USA. Weeeeeeeeee!
Mommy needs a drink to calm her nerves, she is flustered after watching that illegal alien Juan cut the grass without his shirt on. His rippling muscles and his tawny sweaty golden brown skin made Mommy feel flushed and very excited in her special place. Mommy would like to make love with Juan because she thinks that Juan would be an unselfish lover who would actually help her to achieve an orgasm, unlike her selfish husband who is a wham, bam, roll over and go to sleep lover.
Golly, my kite is gonna get pretty high, just like all those wounded soldiers who are jacked up on pain killers. I'm glad I'm never gonna have to go fight the war of terror, seeing as how we're rich Republicans who support the President and all. That dang ol' stupid war is for chumps who ain't connected like we are. 
Dumbledore is gay you say? Well, then I hope the media keeps talking about that so they don't do any stories about the real state of things in this country. They'd better keep yammering on about how those Harry Potter books will destroy the moral fiber of kids so that people will be distracted from the ever widening gap between the haves and the have nots. Yep, we better talk about a person who does not exsist's sexuality rather than to talk about why our health care system is failing most Americans. Oh and just so you know, I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is. 
12 comments:
You're a freakin' genius. I love this. I wish I had my days free so I could carefully read all your blogs from beginning to end.
Urban pedestrian hit it on the head, man. You're a genius! and you're a wizard with that scanner.
What a great way to start a Tuesday!
Oh, come on, that broad isn't drinking the carpet cleaner, anyone can see that.
She's huffing it.
Brilliant post!
great post and very funny.
Had I only known those 50s and 60s illusrations people were so tuned into 07, I would have paid far more attention to Dick and Jane.
50s and 60s illustrations seem wise beyond their years.
Except for the woman who thinks her gardener is going to care more about her orgasm than her husband. That's a little naive.
hey, is that sled pic from Frosty the Snowman?
Who needs Peyton Place when you've got your own little den of Satan right here. Hilarious.
Ah, takes me way back.
Urban-Gee, thanks. I'm flattered.
Dguz-Thank you too sweetie.
Snad-You know me hon, I'm all about helping people start their day off right.
Bubs-Thanks man.
Mother-Thanks.
Barb-We all would had we known.
Vikki-They are wise aren't they.
Notsoccermom-Nope. It's from a 1960's Popular Mechanics magazine.
Kirby-We also have an alcove of Satan and a rumpus room of Lucifer as well.
Missy-Come back to us hon!
man you are creative!
8-)
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