And now a word from Michael Vick

Hi everybody. NFL quarterback Michael Vick here. How ya'll doin'? Ya'll calmed down yet? Hell I pleaded guilty what more do you want? I'm sitting out the season and it looks like I'm going to prison for a bit. Ain't that enough for you? I promise to never do that dog fighting shit again. I mean it. I'll be good. I'll come back and I'll make all of you proud of me again.

What I wanted to talk to ya'll about is since I can't make two dogs fight until one of them is almost dead and since I can't go on and kill that almost dead dog with my bare hands I got to find something to do while I wait to be sentenced. Football is out since I been suspended indefintely. Drug dealing is out. But I did figure out a new hobby for me and my buds. How ya'll feel about cat fighting?


You cool with that? I thought you would be. It's not dog fighting after all and my good buddy OJ Simpson is gonna help me organize it. Ain't you OJ?
Sure I am, after I get finished doing publicity for my new book that is!

Ok man, you come on board when you're ready. I'm not rushing you or anything.
Good you know how I get when I'm rushed.
Put that shiv down OJ and go get started humping that book.

Is he gone? Whew. He gives me the willies! Anyway I got some great cat fighitng matches lined up. Ya'll ready to hear about them? Hell yeah you are, so here's what I got for ya:


First match is Tigger

vs. Top Cat.
My money is on Top Cat. That is one mean but still stylin' feline!

Next up is a battle between two extinct cats. The Tasmanian Tiger takes on a sabre tooth tiger.
It's gonna be a fang-tastic battle!

Then we got a palate cleanser of a fight between Heathcliff

and MC Skat Cat.
I hired Paula Adbul to be ring girl for that bout!

Then finally we got a four cat tag team loser leaves town battle royale bewteen the Devil Cats
and Ol' One Eyewho is partnering with his old mentor The Lynx.

That should be one crazy match. I'll predict that some pussy is going down in that tussle.

So thats what I got going on until I go to the grey bar hotel for 1 to 5 years. Ya'll come on out to the house and we'll watch them kittys tangle. Hey if ya'll would, pick me up some doughnuts and chicken wings on your way over. And maybe some hot sauce too. And a bottle of Alize. All right then America, I'll see ya'll at my place. Be cool.