True Employment Tales!

Years ago when I lived in Roanoke Virginia I worked for a time for a concrete pipe manufacturer. My main job was in quality control and pipe testing which involved using a drill like this one to cut out cores in batches of pipe.

When I was not doing that I had to work with the guys in the pipe repair department. They worked outside year round so when it rained we all got to go inside and wait out the storm. We'd all go to a little trailer on the plant property that was far enough away from the main plant that the bosses would not bother to come out and check on us.

One day, shortly after I got hired, the guys in the pipe repair crew, and it must be said these were some pretty rough guys who's idea of a balanced lunch was a pipe full of crack, a Slim Jim, and a quart of Schlitz Malt Liquor, and I were sitting around in the little trailer waiting for it to stop pissing the rain. They got to talking about the guns they all kept in their cars and one of them turned to me and said, "Hey white boy, what kind of pistol you got?"

I sneered at the guy who asked me that and I took a long drag off my Marlboro Light, I still smoked back then, and then I put it out between my finger tips. I flicked the butt across the trailer and I said in my best tough guy voice, "Shit man, I ain't got not no gun. Hell, I quit carrying one when I learned how to kill a man with my hands."

All of them turned to look at me, the new guy, the 175 pound weakling. I gave them all my best tough guy squint and about ten seconds later they all erupted with laughter. I started laughing too. One of them finally stopped laughing long enough to tell me, "OK Bruce Lee, we get the picture and I'll make sure to tell all the guys in the plant that you one deadly motherfucker."

I said, "Well okay then, you make sure you do that because I'd hate to go to prison for killin' one of you motherfuckers." They all laughed again but no one ever gave me any crap after that, ever.