We managed to somehow get President Bush to take some time out of his busy schedule to watch the Democratic Party Debate last night for us. Here with out any edits are his remarks: 
I wish I hadn't told Dr. Monkey I'd watch this dang thing fer him. I'd rather be slamming some beers or something down with Jenna. But a promise is a promise.
I wish I hadn't told Dr. Monkey I'd watch this dang thing fer him. I'd rather be slamming some beers or something down with Jenna. But a promise is a promise.Hey what's that?
It's the remote.
Dang, they forgot to take it away from me, like they usually do.
They know I'll keep a flipping if they leave this thing with me.
No, I gotta stay strong. Dr. Monkey is counting on me.
Ok, here they go, they're getting ready to start.
Ok, here they go, they're getting ready to start.
Let's see who's hosting this sheebang. Oh shit, it's Wolf Blitzer.
He scares me, what with his beard and all.
Screw you Monkey, I'm seeing what else is on.
Heck no, I ain't watching Murder She Writed. That's Daddy's favorite show but I hate it. I'm glad to see ol' Mary Poppins is still gettin' work tho. She's not gonna need any Social Security, so take that you liberals!
Ohhh, I love Captain America. But I seen this one a miz-illion times.
Awesome! Dawson's Creek is back. I'll have to remember to tell Jenna and The Other One our favorite show is back on.
Dang, check out Lifetime! They got them a show about Tom Jones on. Man, Tom is a good looking dude. He's packing some heat too. I bet he gives off a virile musky scent like me.If I ever get close enough to him I'm gonna sniff him.
How about that? Monica's on E! I see why ol' Bubba tapped that now, she ain't half bad.
Cindy who I wonder. Maybe it's that little girl from that Dr. Suess cartoon, Cindy Lou Who.
Awesome! The new Girl's Gone Wild DVD is out. I pray Jenna and The Other One aren't in it.
What kind of show is this on Cartoon Network? A show about wimmens periods? Ewww, them things look dangerous. I'm glad I don't have them things.
Why did I turn it back to Lifetime? Holy crap look at that chest. What a pelt that man has. And strong arms too. I bet he'd cradle me in those things and whisper....
Uhh, I better turn it.
I love that Crunky ad! Man, I could use some Crunky now. I'm kind of hungry. Crunky would hit the spot now. And so would some pork rinds. Mmmmmmm, pork rinds.
Hey I bet that big ass pig that that kid shot has a buch of pork rinds inside it. I'd eat all them pork rinds now and some Happy Strawberry Crunky too.
I'd wash it down with that stuff too. Sheee-it, I loves me some Imitation Grape Soda. None of that real shit for me, I'm an 'imitation guy' all the way.
Crap. It's pledge week on PBS again. How many more times can I watch that Irish dude from Branson sing? They ain't gettin' any of my money. Dang ol' gay liberals.
Sweet!!! The new Golden Girls Gone Wild DVD is out. I hope Mom ain't shaking her nay nays in this one too. That was scary but strangely arousing watching her do that.
No Tom!!! Don't listen to her! She's no good for you. I'm the only man for you. I'll even wear the bikini for you Tom. Tommmmmmmmmm................Uh, I better turn it.
What's this on SCI FI? A monster movie?Watch out Timmy-san! Theys a monster next to you.
Where's Lassie when you need him?
Dang, monster trucks on Spike TV. Monster trucks rule. Watch out Mountain Dew can, nothing can stop the power of MONSTER TRUCKS!Oh poop, it's going off.
I wonder what's on there next?
Cool! Dogs playing poker!And yet I can't stop going back to Lifetime.
Okay, now your just scaring me with them googly eyes Tom. I think I'll just take a nap now.
Dr. Monkey will never know if I watched the debates or not. He's just a dumb ass monkey after all.
8 comments:
This might well be the funniest post ever. No kidding. Hilarious.
Thanks.
A potential regular feature? Too funny!
Who watches TV for news and political stuff? Give me cartoons about wimmen's periods anyday!
Hooray! Gratuitous shirtless Tom Jones!
And as sick as it seems I adore that period picture it's really cute and the colors are so bright! Of course when you really think about what it is it's pretty damn gross. So we won't think about it like that.
Holy crap. Jeeeezuuuuuuzzzzzzzz. I think I could have done with out the pic with the blood shooting out of the cartoons crotch. Really.
Thanks for your praise D Cup, we may get Bush to weigh in on soem othet stuff, he does have the time for it you know.
We are surprised that Evil Spock used a pronoun when speaking about Evil Spock's likes and dislikes.
We are all about gratuitous pictures these days Becca. See our post on Gina Bellman. And it's only gross for a day or two.
Really ballerina? Could you have done without it? Or were you drawn to it like a moth to a waffle?
Like a hooker to a john on a Friday night when her pimp is jonesin' for some crack.
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