Pop-servations

• Hey did you know there are people who actually want to see Rebbecca Gayheart have sex? Me, I'd rather pour acid in my eyes and jab at my brain with an ice pick than watch that bug eyed murdering Kentucky redneck twit do most anything. I'll file her sex tape next to Paris Hilton's in the 'Things I'd watch only if someone shoved a shotgun up my ass and made me watch it' file.
  
• Jeremy Piven says he hasn't eaten fish in 11 months and he feels great. Funny, I haven't seen a Jeremy Piven project in the same amount of time and I feel the same way.
  
• John Travolta's and other 'A' list movie stars films are tanking at the box office. Hmmm, could it be because they all make crap movies today? If it's not a remake, based on a comic book, or a video game then 'A' list 'stars' don't want to be in it. It's no wonder people are staying away from that shit in droves. I'd rather watch paint dry than sit through a shitty remake of a good movie, and I'm looking at you Pelham 1,2,3.
  
• Yo, people who get tattoos on your neck, once gravity really kicks in and your neck starts to sag, your now 'cool' tattoo is going to look like it's just a blob of ink. Or worse, it's going to look like you threw up and it all dribbled down your chin.
  
• And ladies, one day that tramp stamp of yours that proclaims how 'Juicy' your ass is, is going to migrate south and it's going to look like you don't know how to wipe your ass.
  
• Robert Zemeckis is going to remake Yellow Submarine using motion capture 3-D. Good idea Bob. Maybe one day if you remake all the shitty movies in the world in motion capture 3-D then people might actually see one of them.
• Thank goodness Project Runway is back.
  
• I'm glad Rick Bayless won Top Chef Masters. All three finalists were great chefs but week after week Bayless made the food that I most wanted to eat.
• That Hasselback hag goes on maternity leave from The View and they get two conservative women, Megan McCain and E.D. "Terrorist Fist Pound" Hill, to fill in for her. Wow, way to stay liberal you big media outlets!