Long may you run

As I've written before on this blog my late father suffered all his life with clinical depression and schizophrenia.  When I was 17, after years of pushing him away because his mental illness embarrassed me, he took his own life.  He hung himself in a closet in his small apartment in Ypsilanti, MI.  I found out he had taken his own life when my uncle, his brother, Curt called me after the police found dad's dead body.  Curt, who I had never met or spoken with before, because he had been in the California penal system most of his life and most all of my life up to that point, blithely told me that dad had committed suicide and in his next breath he told me that dad had hung himself.  I was speechless and on autopilot when I said something like, "Okay, thanks for calling."  I hung up and Curt must have felt bad for just blurting it out like that and he called back to offer some weak ass apology, which I accepted, though I was still in shock.  Most everyone in my family would have rejoiced but it was still hard for me to hear my dad, who I loved and missed, despite how I acted, was dead.  

It's hard to lose a parent when you're still relatively young.  I had already lost my mom when I was 10 and I saw my beloved big sister Linda get hit and killed by a car when I was 8.  Then to lose my dad who I hadn't spoken to in months because I was embarrassed to be around him because he was ill, and I was still living with and being treated like a third class citizen by my bi polar aunt and her bullying children.  It all hurt but I held it in and didn't talk to anyone because I was afraid to show any emotion or let anything out lest the wolves at home think I was weak.  

I bring up all this because I lost a friend the other day and he's got a son, Noah, a great kid I'm proud to call my friend, who is about the age I was when I lost my dad. My friend Bobby fought a battle with the bottle and his liver was the first loser.  Things looked up for him for a time when he was able to get treatment for his liver failure.  The doctors seemed upbeat and they released him under strict orders not to drink.  He seemed to be doing better after his release, he returned to Facebook and was looking forward to more time with his son.  But the damage must have been greater than the doctors thought because a few days ago he started having agonizing pain and so he went back in the hospital.  This time after tests the doctors said there wasn't mush they could do for him now and this past Tuesday evening Bobby passed away.  

His son was able to speak to him before he died and his last words to him were, "I love you."  His family was with him when they took Bobby off the ventilator and although it's a crushing loss because Bobby was in his mid forties, it was a comfort that they all could be with him at the end of his life. 

My heart goes out to his son and his widow.  It's a shame that my friend died so young and it's even worse that he won't be around to see his kid grow up and blaze his own way through life.  

Rest in peace Bobby.  Thank you for being my friend and for not letting me get away with my bullshit all the time.  But most of all thanks for being responsible for bringing your son Noah into the world. 

Bittersweet

As most of you regular readers know I'm hooked on Facebook as well as blogging. And for every old friend from college or high school that I've reconnected with there's been people from that part of my past that I'd rather just stay away from either because they've become intolerant Christians who look forward to going to the Creationist Museum or because I didn't like them back then and I still don't like them now. My friendship with some of my blog friends has deepened as a result of being on Facebook with them as well as reading their blogs.

Unfortunately, I've also ran into some sad and troubling news on Facebook as well. I recently friended a gal I went to high school with. I knew she would not remember me because I was a few years behind her. But I not only remembered her, I went to a very small high school, I was friends with her young brother Scott.

Scott was friends with my sister Sandy first. He and Sandy and another gal named Sheila were thick as thieves for a few years but when Sandy and Sheila graduated and went on to other things Scott was still in school with me, he was a year ahead of me. Since we both partied in high school we would often hang out together and get stoned and or drunk. Scott was a fun, funny, stand up guy. And he was gay.

In a small rural community like Lee County, VA if you were gay you had to keep it under wraps or you faced the wrath of people who hated gays and the wrath of the sanctimonious holier than thou Christians, and often they were one and the same. But for some reason this didn't apply to Scott. And I think it was because Scott was so beloved by everyone. We stoners liked him because he was one of us, the jocks liked him because he was not a threat to them, and the hicks liked him because he made them laugh. If you asked him he'd tell you he was gay but he didn't go around screaming about his sexual orientation. He wasn't a flamer, but you knew he was gay if you spent any length of time around him at all.

I liked Scott immensely because he was such a fun guy. He always was quick with a joke and to poke fun at the people and things that needed it. He reminded me of me in that regard. I also liked him because he was who he was and he didn't change for anybody. I always thought he was pretty brave to not change who he was in order to try and fit in. In a way he was a hero of mine because if a gay guy like him could be himself in that small town then I, a smart geeky bookish kid with a smart mouth, could be who he was and not worry about it. Sometimes I had to reign in who I was but Scott never did and for that I always admired him.

The day after I graduated high school I left moved out of Lee County and for the most part I never looked back. I had heard that Scott had died of HIV/AIDS but I never was sure about it, until his sister and I began emailing each other on Facebook that is. I shared with his sister that my brother Charlie, who she remembered very well by the way, had died from an HIV/AIDS related illness and so she told me that Scott had as well. But oddly enough he didn't get it from unprotected sex, he got it from a blood tranfusion. She told me that Scott was managing a restaurant in North Carolina and one night after he closed up the place he got carjacked. The carjacker slit his throat so he could not scream but the slit did not kill Scott. The carjacker tied him up and put him in the backseat of his car and then he took off. Despite having a slit throat Scott was able to undo the bonds that held him and he managed to run off when the carjacker stopped for a rest break. It was during his hospitalization that Scott was given AIDS tainted blood.

It's a sad turn of events that cost my friend Scott his life but I know that he lived that life braver than most anyone else I know. I wish I had kept in touch with him after I left high school and I wish I could have seen him before he passed so I could have told him he was one of my personal heroes. I missed the chance to do those things, so this will have to do, so long Scott, you were one hell of a guy and this world was better for you having been in it.

Cake?

We went to a wedding at our friend Michelle's house and this was the groom's cake. It was unholy good cake. It was slap yo momma good cake. The wedding and the folks who were there were nice but the cake was out of this world. Holy hell, I love me some cake.

This week in swag

It's been another record breaking week in swag here at Monkey Central. In addition to the great book the blogalicious Flannery Alden gave us, we also got the following things: My friend Keith recently went to Santa Fe, NM with his lovely wife and he bought us that cool Day of the Dead Frieda Kahlo figurine in the painted box, and yes, she is holding a monkey. It sits on a table our friends Todd and Donna gave us.


And one of the contingent of Minnesota babes, Missy to be exact, sent me this keen postcard. It's juicily ironic and so achingly postmodern I nearly wept when I beheld it for the first time.

Thank you all for the great swag you have bestowed on me and Sparky.

Look what I got for my blogaversary

I got an in home visit from the one and only, the semi famous, the soon to be notorious, the lovely and talented Flannery Alden! Yay me! She's in town on business and she had an evening free and she chose to spend it here at Monkey Central. How cool is that? It's way cool. She's the first out of town blog friend that Sparky and I got to meet face to face, so you can say she took our blog friend meeting cherry.

Not only is the lovely Ms. Alden smart, funny, witty, and fun, she's also cute as a button. I was going to use a photo I took of her while she was here but they did not do her justice so I'm using her profile picture from Facebook. Isn't she adorable? Yes, she is. She's the cutest thing evah, the queen of Ohio I tell ya, and she's heading to Chicago on her next work related road trip so maybe you Chicago folks like Bubs, Johnny Yen, Johnny Yen's wife Kim (who still has not friended me on Facebook by the way, what's up with that Kim?), Splotchy, and Grant Miller can meet up with her when she hits your city.

I picked up Flannery at her swanky hotel and I spirited her to our place for supper and a few beers. We sat around talking, laughing, and getting to know one another. She's now like one of the family to us, from a part of the family we like that is. I kept her visit to our house under wraps because once news got out that she was in town and coming over then every poseur, fame whore, and hipster would have been on our front doorstep clamoring for face time with her and we had wanted her sweet sweet Midwestern goodness all to ourselves.

Our visit with her was enhanced by two things. The first was the swag she brought us: It's a cool book that contains all the stuff it says it does on the cover and also has arcane facts about well known products in it as well, which is waaaaaay too to a trivia geek and insufferable know it all like me. The second things that enhanced her visit to our place was we got to chat briefly with her husband Doc. She let me speak with him when she called him to let him know she was all right and that we were normal enough. Sadly Doc couldn't talk too long because he was somewhat indisposed, he was in service to his Oriental master Poo Ping when we called. All in all we loved meeting Flannery and spending time with her.

Flannery, it was a pleasure meeting you and having you over to our place. Maybe one of these days you and Doc and the kids will make that trip to Dollywood and you can all spend the night here while you're in the area again.

Spreadin' the love, Flickr style

I make no secret of my love for Flickr. I love being able to post the photos I take, the stuff I scan, and I love the people I've met on there as well. It's time I shared some of them with you.

• Little Rosy Runabout is the funniest, coolest, grooviest Flickr chick ever. She's all about creating characters, making folks laugh, and sharing photos and stories of her daughter, who may be the cutest kid ever. Go check her out and if you have a sense of humor, you'll love her photos as much as I do.
• If I didn't know better, I'd swear this French chick and I were the same person judging by the stuff she posts. I love all her retro cheesecake illustration scans. Vive la France!
• This Spanish chick takes dreamy blurry artsy photos. I love them.
• Eartha Kitsch is a Tennessee gal who has a special friend she takes photos of when she's not taking pictures of all thing squirrel and retro related. It's a good thing we don't live near one another or I'd be hanging out and going to thrift stores with her all day long.
• Retrogoddess is a new Flickr friend, she's a hilarious chickie from down under.
• Miss Retro Modern is the Canadian queen of retro cool. I love her mix of retro scans, her scans of postcards, and her photos. She and Eartha Kitsch and Little Rosy Runabout are queens of the interrelated character photos.
• Glen H is an Aussie who loves the retro scans and the scans of bad looking food as much as I do. He's probably another brother I never knew I had.
• Sparkleneely is the high priestess of retro cool. Her Flickr posting has slowed a bit, probably because she's got a life, but check her out when you get some time. I swear you could power a small city with the brightness of her cute smile.
• Biff Bang Pow shares my love of Sparkleneely, he's her fiancee after all, and he shares my love of lurid paperback book cover art as well. He's also into obscure bands from the '60's as well. Check him out when you get the chance.

Blog buds like Lisa (the blogger formerly known as D Cup), Liberality, and Gifted Typist are on Flicker as well, so check them out too.

Not super, superior

My friend Sparkleneely, the high priestess of retro cool, gave me an award!We became Flickr friends first, then when I found out she wrote a blog I liked her even more. And now to top things off we have completed the trifecta and we're also friends on Facebook. Yay! She seems to like the crap I come up with here and who am I to tell her she's wrong? After all she's a super cool, super cute, super fun chick, so she knows what the heck she's talking about.


The good thing about this award is I get to keep mine and I get to give it away to five people who think deserve it. The following folks are superior in my book:

1) Vikkitikkitavi-I love everyone on my blog roll but none of you can hold a candle to Vikkitikkitavi when it comes to writing, not even me. She's witty, smart, bitter at times, and always the best every time. I am in serious awe of her talent. And if I may be the sexist pig for a moment, she's pretty damn hot too.

2) CDP-How I love CDP and her intelligently witty blog. Sure, she's got three guys in her house who give her lots of inspiration to write but they don't write it for her, she does and I'm ever so glad she does.

3) Kirby-Ahhhh, Kirby. She's funny at times, she's cranky at others. Hmmmm, she reminds me of someone I know and his initials are Dr. Monkey. I love who she packs so much into such short posts. And I am sooooooooo looking forward to reading her take on her son's advancement in to adolescence.

4) Whiskeymarie-One of the first posts I ever read of Whiskey's she was wearing a wet tank top with a illustration of a monkey on it. When I stopped staring at her picture and I read the text that accompanied it, I knew I had found a blog superstar. I've been her fan since the day my friend Sean in New Orleans hipped me to her and if you read her, you'll love her as much as I do.

5) XUP-I wouldn't be me if I did throw some blog love to a babe from north of the border and this time XUP (eX Urban Pedestrian) gets all my blog love. She writes a great blog that's funny, smart, and quite the slice of her life. In fact, blogs like hers are why Al Gore invented this series of tubes we call the internet.

My fez if off to all the superior ladies I listed here.

Thanks again for the award Sparkleneely, I'm glad you're my friend and I salute your great taste in blogs, Flickr, and Facebook friends!

I love you Facebook-UPDATED

I'm glad my friend Pam who used to write the blog Memoirs of a Working Mom got me to get into Facebook.

Using Facebook over the past few months has given me a deeper appreciation for all of my blog buds. I've also caught up with some old friends from Knoxville, my old improv comedy group, and it's brought back into my life some old friends from college. I'm loving it that I am catching up with folks I knew over 20 years ago. We all may never get together anywhere else besides Facebook but hey, that's good enough for me.

If you're on Facebook and on my blogroll and you haven't 'friended' me yet then what the hell are you waiting for? Get on the stick people, chop chop. I'll go ahead an apologize in advance if you send me a drink or a gift or do one of those Facebook apps that I'm not into, otherwise I rock at being a Facebook friend.

Viva Facebook!

UPDATE: If you're on Facebook and you can't find me it's because I'm onthere under my real name. If you want to friend me please send me an email to monkeymuckATgmailDOTcom with the words 'Friend me Monkey' in the subject line and I'll shoot you back an email with my real name.

Separated at birth?

Hot British fantasy writer Susanna Clarke
and blog hottie Suzy the Quaker vixen.

My new best friends

I picked up Elizabeth Kucinich
and Keith Olbermann as friends on Facebook recently. How cool is that?
But don't you worry none, you're still my bestest friend ever!

Blog plug

My friend Joseph Fitzinakis, the smartest guy in the world, has a new blog out. It's all about the murky world of intelligence. Joseph, seen here in the foreground stroking his oh so manly beard at our holiday party a few weeks ago, has a PHD in intelligence. So unlike others who write about the world of spies and spying, Joseph knows what the heck he's talking about when he writes about that kind of stuff. You can see his great new blog by clicking here. If you want unbiased information on intelligence issues, then add him to your blog roll and read him every day.

The Purpose Driven Party

One of the reasons we moved to a bigger house was to be able to have many friends over at once. There was hardly any room for guests to park at our old condo and it got really crowded feeling if more than 6 people were in the old place at once. Thank goodness with our new place we have neither problem. There is plenty of parking out on the street and we've got more than enough space to have many friends over at once. So this year we decided to have a holiday party!

We'd been buying food and supplies, such as paper plates, napkins, etc, for a few months now and then the week before hand we went into overdrive. We cleaned and decorated the place and we baked and cooked for a few days prior as well. And as the day of the party arrived, we were ready.
We served homemade egg rolls, chips and dips, cheese balls, chicken wings, ham biscuits, fresh cut veggies, tortilla roll ups, and some of our guests brought such things as baked brie with cranberry and orange sauce on top, stuffed jalapenos, spicy tofu cubes. We also had a dessert table that was filled with all manner of homemade cookies and brownies and other desserts that some of our guests brought, such as candied pretzels and pumpkin cheesecake. We had various iced teas, holiday punch, wine, and beer. To make a long story longer, we were ready to throw down on some holiday partying.

A bunch of nice folks that Sparky works with came by and sampled the hospitality. Some came bearing gifts even though they were told not to. We accepted the gifts and they accepted all the food and drinks they wanted. So in the end it worked out.

Also in attendance were my friend Keith and his sons Cameron, he's the older one, and Quinn, he's the one talking.
We all play disc golf together and Keith got me in to helping out with the film festival that we have here in Johnson City. They also came bearing gifts. They gave us, among other things, a holiday CD and Quinn let me borrow his copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. They had out of town guests coming in that evening so they didn't stay too long. But luckily for us as the evening wore on a ton of other friends showed up.The gal is a new friend of ours who we met last night named Lisa, the handsome guy in the middle of the photo is Bobby, he's head honcho at our local library. The character on the far right is man o' the cloth, friend of teh gay, evolution defender, peace activist, and all around decent guy, Rev. John Shuck. John came bearing gifts as well. He gave us this calendar as a gag gift:As you can see from the cover it's got quotes from Rick Warren in it. Here's a few of them:

• "I'm hung over like a motherfucker, hand me $20 from the collection plate so I can buy me some Mad Dog 20/20."
• "When I masturbate I think of cute little puppies, sunshine, and of course, Jesus."
• "Pass me the white bread and mayonnaise or I'll have Jesus smite you. I am not playing around bitches, give me some of that white Protestant soul food or your ass is going to hell in a '73 Pinto."

In return I gave John a button that had a picture of Jesus smoking crack on it that said, "Crack Whores for Jesus." It was a pretty even gift exchange I'd say.

Also in attendance was the smartest man in the world, our friend Joseph, he's the one on the right. He's got a doctorate in political science and he speaks many different languages. And he also had the good sense to marry the smartest woman in the world,Vanessa. She's the one on the left. She is the chair of the biology department at my old college and she not only teaches two or three classes plus labs a semester, she also does research that gets funded by the NIH and other important groups. She's forgotten more biology than I ever knew. And as you can tell by how she's mugging for the camera, she's also beautiful and fun. Some of you eagle eyed readers may recognize the beauty queen sitting next to Vanessa, it's my blog and real life buddy Snad! It was through Snad that we met most all of the folks who came to the evening portion of the party. She and her brother Mike, that's him flashing the goofy smile and wearing the red tie,founded an anti war activist group called Concerned TN Citizens and that's how me met all the other great local folks we now call friend. Snad's husband John is also a stand up guy. Here's a shot of them getting ready to kiss:
Aren't they sweet? Speaking of sweet, the couple in the above photo are sweet as well. Their names are Brian and June. Brian is originally from Scotland and June is from Venus. Oh no, that's not right, she's originally from West Virginia. Both of them are fun folks to be around. June is not only whip smart and funny, she's also crafty. She's a knitter and she just made Sparky a beautiful scarf. When I asked her to knit me a thong, she politely declined while Miss Vanessa tried to suppress her gag reflex:
And this hottie's name is Donna:
She's Bobby's wife. She's not only beautiful, she's also smart, super nice, and funny. She and Bobby have a daughter who is going to be even more beautiful than her mother is, if you can believe that. I'm not sure what Bobby and Donna were up to before they arrived at the party but for some reason as soon as they got to our place Donna felt the need to wrestle our fridge. I'm happy to report the only injury in the bout was sustained by our refrigerator. It just goes to show you that although she may be beautiful, Donna can be deadly as well.

All in all the party was a great success and we'll be eating the leftovers for weeks to come. I'm glad we had so many people drop by and that they enjoyed themselves. When I was growing up in the social, political, and cultural backwater that is Lee County Virginia I dreamed of having smart, funny, good looking friends and I'm so glad that that dream finally came true.

Thanks to all of you who came by and made our first holiday season in our new place such a great one!

Area minister nearly kisses fat atheist bastard

That fat atheist bastard on the left is me and the puckering Presbyterian on the right is my blog and real life friend Rev. Shuck. As you can see I had to get my beer goggles on before I let a man o' the cloth kiss me but what the heck, it was worth it.

Actually, that's but one of many photos from last night's holiday party at Monkey Central. I'll do a full blown post later and I promise it'll have tons of photos of beautiful women, good friends, food, and all the smart ass comments that I can come up with. But right now I've had a few too many and I may have another, so I'll see ya later kids.

I'd be quite the catch but they won't chase me

Since I jumped into this whole Facebook thingy a bit more I've come back into contact with some old college friends. And just like in college they fall into two distinct groups, one group of them I partied and hung out with, the other I didn't. I've been exchanging emails and all sorts of memories with my old party pals but the folks I didn't party with I have hardly exchanged much with except for the cursory greeting and 'friend adding.'

The thing I find funny about all this that a couple of my old college friends have become ministers and as soon as they found out I was a card carrying atheist, and the card I carry is my library card, they stopped communicating with me. No more messages on my Facebook wall, no emails, nothing. I'm grateful they don't, but you'd think they try to save my soul or something. You'd think they at least be cordial on the off chance that I might turn to them to find out about the good news about Jeebus H Christ. But just like in college it turns out that the religious people only want to be be around others who think like them or who they think they can brainwash into thinking like them.

I'm glad I've reconnected with my old party buddies even though we live hundreds of miles apart. And as far as the god squadders who I've reconnected with, the way I feel about them is just about the same way I felt about them in college, which is to say, I can take them or leave them and mostly I leave them.

Oh, and I'm glad that I connected with some of my blog pals on Facebook because it helps me get to know you a little better and we share a different side of our selves on there. But if I don't return good karma, or throw more "snowballs," or pass you "drinks," then I apologize. I'm still a Facebook rookie and I don't spend enough time there to be all hip to the latest advances in Facebookism.

I live in a magical place where Thanksgiving meals never end

The table was set and at about 3:45 yesterday afternoon Sparky's family came over for dinner. Unfortunately Sparky's work friend couldn't make it because her little girl got sick. I was bummed because I was looking forward to seeing the little tyke because she and I have something in common, we've both had open heart surgery. I had mine at age 42 and little Maria had hers before she turned 2, she was born with a heart defect that they had to correct before her heart grew any bigger than it was then. Thankfully she made it through her operation with flying colors, and she probably shed a few less tears and complained less than I did when I had my open heart surgery. I had bought her a little book and I got the stuffed animals out for her to play with but sadly she caught some snotty nosed brat's cold in day care and she couldn't come. Here's hoping my lil' surgery buddy gets well soon!

Anyway, here's the Thanksgiving day supper she missed out on:

1. Turkey

2. Dressing

3. Sweet potato casserole

4. Stuffed mushrooms

5. Chips and homemade salsa

6. Fresh cut celery, carrots, and cherry tomatoes

7. Home made dip

8. Broccoli/cauliflower salad

9. Baked butternut squash with toasted pecans and bleu cheese

10. Cooked carrots

11. Cranberries

12. Gravy

13. Brussels sprouts

14. Mashed potatoes

15. Spicy shrimp

16. Homemade bread with herbed butter

With all that food you'd think we lay off the dessert wouldn't you? Well, you'd be wrong. Here's the dessert and drink table:

1. Red velvet cake

2. Pumpkin pie

3. Pecan pie

4. Homemade banana bread

5. Homemade pecan and chocolate chip cookies

6. Fruit salad

7. Pumpkin pie cake

8. Sweet tea

9. Unsweet tea

That's Sparky's dad pouring himself some unsweet tea. I showed him the post where I used his old army picture and he wanted to thank all of you for your nice comments, especially you K. Line.

********

We'll be having leftovers of that fine meal for a couple of days to come and tomorrow we go over to our friend Snad's house for Thanksgiving dinner with her and her husband, her brother Mike and his sons, and some other friends. We're looking forward to it because our friend Snad is not only a great commenter on my blog, she's also a damn fine cook and a great hostess.

********

In other good news I got an email from my old college buddy who just moved to Mumbai. He told me he's fine and that he was good and far from the terrorist fray.

Have great weekend kids, and happy eating!

Here's Harvey Kaputnik, your new best friend

And to top it off he's a swinger!

Something special for my 888th post

It's a tribute my friend Allan!

This drawing of a naked faceless woman holding a fish is from a calender he made for me years ago.

This new magazine has got the best name don't you think? WTF, of course they want us to think it means Welcome to Finland but we all know what it really means. My pal Allan's family is originally from Finland.

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If you're in the Davis California area or you find yourself in Attorney General Jerry Brown's library, give Allan a friendly wave and a hearty hello. And tell him I said "Hi!"