I'd rather starve

The funny thing is the cheese slices on the broccoli isn't the saddest thing about this shitty looking meal.

Recipes time forgot, until now

Click on each picture to take in all the delicious horror of the 'food' pictured.

Dig in to the mid century buffet

Culinary horror

 They put everything in the fridge on that fucking sandwich.

 Chicken croquettes doused in cream sauce and peas or vomit, you decide.

 Tamale hero sandwiches with pickle-sicles.

That's crab tomato gelatin.  Calling it 'aspic' doesn't make it sound more appealing.

I grew up on the tail end of this awful era in cuisine.  It was truly a frightening time to be alive and eating.

Eat it

 Eat it all you filthy whores.

Culinary horror

This kind of 'food' was popularized when I was a kid.  It was basically as many kinds of convenience foods stuffed into one dish as they could dream up in the test kitchens of Better Homes and Gardens.  This one used store bought pastry, deviled ham from a can, canned soup, and canned asparagus.  Nothing fresh or nutritious.  When I blanched at eating something like this, I was threatened with physical violence. 

They told us this kind of shit was healthy.  Tons of protein and preservatives, salads be damned, or if they said to add them, they told us to ladle on the creamy bleu cheese or ranch dressing.  It's no fucking wonder I had a heart attack at age 42.

Most green veggies we were served were shit like that asparagus there, either boiled to death from a can or frozen and then boiled to death.  'Lightly steamed' were not words that entered in to our cooking vocabulary until the mid 1990's.  And it's because of the boiled to death veggies that we got served that I resisted eating healthy properly prepared veggies until my mid 30's. 

Good gawd, look at this mess.  Yams, pineapple chunks, link sausage, topped with an orange gelatin sauce for extra tangy-ness, and sprinkled with lawn clippings.

Disgusting.

Culinary horror

People made some vile looking shit with tuna back in the day.

Hungry?

Dig in!

Pickled abominations of the week

Ewwwww.

I hope you're hungry

Because I made you pancakes.  Then I poured soup all over them, because I'm a fucking psycho. 

Eat healthy this weekend

Or you can eat what ever the hell this is:

"Perhaps my dress will distract my guests...

...from the fact that I'm about to serve them puppy souffle."

Hungry?

Then dig in!

Today in culinary horror

Nothing says, "I hate you for watching so much football," more than some orzo, red pepper chunks, and turkey bits slapped together.

Yes, that's a sour cream and menstrual discharge loaf topped with a blade of grass. Doesn't every pre-menopausal woman make this for her family from time to time?

Tuna and green beans together again, at last.

Lawn clippings, check. Cream cheese, check. Mystery meat, check. All that stuff mixed together in a ring mold? Checkmate!

Who's up for a hearty breakfast?

I also made you your mid morning snack:

Becky was delighted...

...that her parents would soon be eating her poison filled meatballs. They had to be made to pay for foisting that hair cut on her.

Mega score!

I got this pristine copy of this 1959 cookbook today in an antique store. It's chock full of cool little illustrations and photos of culinary horror. And of course it's full of horrid fatty recipes. Woot!

Culinary horror of the week

Someone will pay one day for this crime against tomatoes.

No. Just no.

It may be cool but it's full of fat, sugar, and red dye #2. Happy eating!

The twelve dishes of Christmas

Oh mid '60's cookbooks, your food could not look more unappetizing.