Why are you not getting your kids vaccinated?

"What?  Of course my kids got vaccinated.  I'm not stupid.  Those diseases can kill or cripple children for life.  Only idiots don't get their kids vaccinated."

"You'll have to find out my reasons on a very special After School Special tomorrow at 4 PM eastern, 3 PM central time."

"The negro president told us it was a good idea to get it done, so I forbade my family of Caucasians from doing it."

"It's the hip thing to do.  Plus, I hate my kids and watching them die slow agonizing deaths is a fit punishment for the way they ruined my formerly swingin' life."

"The aliens use vaccines to track us, so if my kids aren't vaccinated then the reptile lords from Zeebrun 4 won't be able to anally probe them."

"We pray away disease, so we don't need your worthless vaccines.  Jesus is our doctor."

"Pie.  I like pie."

"I'm an awful person who doesn't care about others.  I just let what ever happens happen and fuck the consequences."

"I didn't get mine vaccinated because I lost a bet and because of Communism."

Who said the NRA didn't have a sense of humor

Good one Wayne.  That 'press conference' of yours yesterday was pure comedy gold.

You had a week to come up with a response to the latest mass shooting of innocent children and what did you do?  You came out and blamed movies, TV, and video games for the murder of those first graders and their teachers.  And as if that wasn't funny enough, you also now demand that every school in the USA have an armed guard.  Your big ideas are to blame others and to put more guns in our nation's schools?

See dude?  Your shit has us all laughing like fucking crazy.

Columbine had armed guards, they didn't help.  VA Tech had a SWAT team who had all sorts of guns, that didn't stop that armed man with a gun from shooting bunches of college kids.  Seriously, MORE guns?  God damn man, you slay us...literally.

Dude, have you not noticed that they watch violent movies in Australia and Japan?  And they play violent video games there too.  But gun related deaths and mass shootings like we have in the USA just don't happen over there in Australia or Japan.  Why is that?  Oh, lemme see, maybe it's because they have strong gun control laws and regulations?  Yeah.  That's it.

But hey guy, good show yesterday Mr. NRA Head.  Very funny.  Hilarious in fact.  But now that you got the joke out of the way, come back on Monday and be prepared to give us some substantial ideas like closing the gun show loophole, banning the sale and use of clips that contain more than 10 bullets, banning the sale and use of hollow point bullets, you know, shit like that.  And also, be prepared to pony up some cash for all the funerals and family counseling for the families who lost loved ones in mass shootings.

Come on man, do the right thing for once. 

God is a bullet and his followers are psychos

Let's be clear and factual here, no child has ever been prevented from praying in any school in the USA.  The god of the Christians has not been 'kicked out' or 'asked to leave' any schools in the country.  What happened was that school administrators, public employees, were prevented from leading or encouraging Christian prayer in schools.  They were prevented from Christian proselytizing, although in some school systems they do it in direction violation of the law, I know the school system I was in from grade 7 through grade 12 did, because if they did it they were favoring one religion over another.  And by favoring one religion over another you establish a de facto state religion, and in case you forgot, the US Constitution expressly forbids the government from establishing a religion.

So when I hear people like Gomer Huckabee and that awful Bryan 'The Nazis were blood thirsty gay liberals' Fischer drone on and on about how their god let the school shooting in Connecticut happen because he had been kicked out and it took something like this to get him back in, it makes me want to vomit.  Assholes like Huckabee and Fischer and all the rest of the religious gun nuts use this argument not to soothe hurt feelings or as a way to explain why this awful tragedy happened, they're using it to justify why something like this happens.  The fact is they support the NRA and actually want more guns on the street and in the hands of more mentally ill people.  They will say anything, do anything, go to any length to use their book of fairy tales to give reasons why they think people should be armed and ready to shoot.

They are shameless cowards who stand behind the skirts of the whores in the NRA and big business and they do nothing but place obstacle after obstacle in the way of actually talking about this issue in a sane logical manner.  They want to keep people frightened and under their thumb and they do so by telling them that their god will be mad at them if they give up their hand guns and their 'liberty.'

I have no children of my own but I know a little about how it devastates a parent to lose a child.  It crushed my mother when my sister Linda got hit and killed by a car.  I could tell, even though I was 8 years old, how losing Linda took some of the life out of my mom.  She was never the same after Linda died.  One of Sparky's work friends from years back lost her grown son to a tragic mountain climbing accident a few years ago and she's still going through agony over her son's death.  A local friend lost his son a few months back and it's devastated him and his family.  So it's unconscionable for smug sanctimonious Christian assholes to say that 20 some kids got gunned down and killed because we don't let Christians indoctrinate in our public schools.  It's awful for them to say that these kids are in a better place now because they're with Jesus.  For them to say that maybe this was all part of their god's plan to get teachers armed while on the job is beyond stupid.

If you think your god is behind the shooting in CT, then fuck you.  If you think your god did this so more people can carry guns, then double fuck you.  This mass murder happened because our gun laws are too lax and because our system of delivering help to mentally ill people has broken down because rich people wanted more money.  This is what happens when you shred the social safety net while making sure anyone can get access to a gun.

Occupy Johnson City

Last Saturday under cool clear October skies over 200 of us took the streets of my town to show our support of the Occupy Wall Street movement and to decry corporate greed and the politicians who are nothing more than corporate stooges. As is often the case in this conservative area of east TN the conservatives hate it when we progressives take to the streets and they call us all sorts of names and make misleading slurs against us. So just who were we at the march?
We were the clever old folks.

The adorable babies and their mothers.

A leprechaun who refused to tell me where his pot of gold was. And no, I did not taste him to see if he was 'magically delicious.'

We were the smart funny people who mixed pop culture with popular outrage.

We were the employed.

The cute gals with enigmatic smiles.

We were the bearded guys with pithy signs.

Teachers and students.

Clever sign makers.

Corporate media toadies who did not like it at all when I loudly reminded anyone within ear shot that the corporate media is part of the problem. And she especially didn't like it when I kept photo bombing her when her camera was rolling.

We were the tired.

The sign coordinated.

The gals with polite signs that enjoined you to engage in the process.

The people who make cleverly worded and symbolized signs.

Mask wearers who sparked one older fellow to remark that wearing masks was illegal. I asked where he heard that 'fact' and he told me he read it in the paper. I then told him that I read in the paper that the 'Occupy' movement protests were a bad thing that was hurting the feelings of big business.

We were the sign accessorizers.

We were also dog lovers, elderly, veterans, female, male, gay, straight, young, old, employed, unemployed, able bodied, disabled, smart, sweet, brash, enthusiastic, laid back, black, white, brown, natives, immigrants, Yankees, southerners, hard working, lazy, loud, quiet, in other words, we were everyman and woman.

The response we got to our march was great, only three people cursed at us, one guy told me to fuck off when he got stuck at a red light when the cops held up traffic for us. Our local police did a spectacular job of assisting us, much to the chagrin of some of the local conservatives who had expected the cops to bust our heads with night sticks and to coat us with pepper spray. Overwhelmingly people who drove past us gave us the thumbs up and honked in support of the cause. All in all it was a great day to use our rights of free speech and assembly. It was great that so many in our area came out to protest corporate greed and the politicians who enable corporate elites.

I am proud of all who came out through out the day and to those who supported us. Now, we just need to keep this ball rolling until we knock down those that would keep us down and hold our movement back.

Onwards! Upwards!

They've seen the union and the damage done

Ordinary citizens of the USA speak out about how unions have damaged their lives:

"When I joined the pipe fitters union I totally thought 'pipe fitting' had something to do with kinky sex. And when I got busted for soliciting boy prostitutes, they wouldn't come to my defense and now I have to ionize my penis several times a day and I have to live in a trailer park full of old people. Fuck unions!"

"Ever since my daddy was forced to join the union he works more than he used to and the allowance I used to get now goes to pay his union dues. If there was no union he'd be home more and I'd have more money to buy crystal meth with. Union, my ass."

"My union makes me keep my rack covered at all times, which is a shame because I got a nice rack. Gravity hasn't hit me too bad as of yet, if you catch my drift."

"I wanted to go digital but my union wouldn't let me."

"When those Commie unions took over my factories and made me give my workers things like lunch breaks and safety equipment, my profits have tumbled. I used to make 5.4 million dollars in profit, now I have to scrape by on 5.3 million. The other billionaires laugh at me."

"I like to shoot things and I like eggs. That's all I got to say."

"Woof."

"I wait here day after day for Jesus Christ to swoop down and form a sexual union with me. I dream of making the beast with two backs with my savior. Wait, shit, did I just say that out loud?"