Stolen from Calvin's Canadian Cave of Coolness:
You can only answer GUILTY or INNOCENT with as little comment as possible. That will be hard for me but I will try.
Asked someone to marry you? - Guilty-But thank goodness we split up before it ever happened.
Ever kissed someone of the same sex? - Guilty-no tongues though.
Danced on a table in a bar? - Guilty -and proudly so.
Ever told a lie? - Guilty-I've told many, I used to be in sales after all.
Kissed a picture? - Guilty
Slept in until 5 PM? - Guilty-mostly when sick though.
Fallen asleep at work/school? - Guilty on both counts.
Held a snake? - Guilty-held one but hated it
Been suspended from school? - Innocent.
Worked at a fast food restaurant? Guilty-I worked at Burger King for about three weeks in the mid to late '80's. It was not a happy time in my life.
Stolen from a store? - Guilty-I stole food and cigarettes when I was broke.
Been fired from a job? - Innocent. I've been laid off from jobs but never fired.
Done something you regret? Guilty-I regret not taking some of my classes in college a bit more seriously.
Laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose? - Guilty
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? - Guilty
Kissed in the rain? - Guilty
Sat on a roof top? - Guilty
Kissed someone you shouldn't? - Guilty
Sang in the shower? Guilty-But I usually sing in the car when I'm the only one in it.
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? - Guilty
Shaved your head? - Innocent. My hair line may be receding but I still have a good amount of hair. I won't hesitate to shave it if needed though.
Had a boxing membership? - Innocent-I'm not into getting hit, especially in the head and face.
Made a boy/girlfriend cry? - Guilty-Mostly not on purpose though.
Been in a band? - Innocent. I have no musical talent whatsoever and I can't sing on key either.
Shot a gun? - Guilty. But I haven't done so in many years. I detest guns.
Donated Blood? - Guilty.
Eaten alligator meat? -Guilty.
Eaten cheesecake? - Guilty, sweet Jeebus, guilty.
Still love someone you shouldn't? -Innocent.
Have/had a tattoo? - Innocent. Tats are not my thing. I hate needles and pain. And let's face it, they look like shit when they fade and your skin starts to sag.
Licked someone, but will never tell who? - Innocent.
Been too honest? - Guilty. But not often enough sometimes.
Ruined a surprise? -Guilty.
Ate in a restaurant and got so bloated that you couldn't walk after wards? - Guilty. Tennessee is the 'all you can eat buffet state' after all.
Dressed in a woman’s clothes -Guilty. Did so for plays I was in.
Joined a pageant? - Innocent, unless you include the rich pageant we call life.
Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? - Guilty.
Had communication with your ex? - Guilty but I didn't initiate it and it didn't end well.
Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent. I've been stoned but never drunk.
Got totally angry that you cried so hard? -Innocent.
Showing posts with label Calvin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Calvin. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Who's pissing off the Christian Taliban now?
My good friend Calvin is! He posted this picture
on his blog in this blog post. And of course this pissed then off. Strangely, it also pissed off some people who claimed that they weren't Christians or religious. They said Calvin was being mean to the Christians by putting up his blog post and using the above accurate picture, in other words Calvin wasn't being respectful enough of the Christian fairy tale for their tastes.
Well, you know what? Unless you agree with them 100 % and accept their fairy tales as fact they will never ever leave you alone. It matters not a bit to them that you don't believe. They keep trying to turn you into one of them. If you tell them to leave you alone, they keep coming at you endlessly repeating their version of their fairy tale. And they claim they only do this because they love you and want to save you from hell so you can go to heaven. So no matter what you say they keep trying to turn you into one of them.
They say are using their freedom of speech to talk to you about their fairy tale and they are merely exercising their freedom of religion to try to rope you into being a part of their particular sect. So, it's all perfectly fine for them to use those rights which are given to them under the US Constitution. However, it's not okay for you to use your right of free speech to say anything they decree as bad about religion and their fairy tale. They love to ignore the fact that freedom of religion also means that you and I are free not to have one if we so choose. They shout we're declaring war on their fairy tale by not joining them in their mass delusion. They say that we have to respect their fairy tale while they show no respect for our decision to think for ourselves and to not join them in their religion.
Well, I call bullshit on them. No matter how many times you tell me the 'good news' about Jesus I'm not going to believe it. No matter how many times you invite me to your church, I'm not going to come. No matter how loudly you proclaim that you are a true believer and that I should be as well, I'm going to scoff at you. And I'm going to back up people like Calvin who choose to speak out against the Christian Taliban and their insidious anti intellectual, anti science, and anti common sense nonsense.
If you believe in one of those fairy tales, be it the Christian one, the Jewish one, the Muslim one, the Sikh one, the Scientology one, or the Wiccan one, then that's fine. It's your life and you can choose what you believe in. I choose to believe in common sense and what I can see, hear, feel, taste, and touch. I choose to put my faith not in things I can't see or hear, but in what's real. If you get off on Jesus, or Moses, or Joseph Smith, or Xenu, then that's on you, just don't try to make me believe in the same shit as you and don't tell me or my friends that we should keep quiet and show your religion some respect if you don't respect our decision not to have a religion.
And you people, especially you born again Christians, need to stop using your book of fairy tales to justify hating on gays, black people, Mexicans, women, and science. Grow the hell up and evolve with the rest of us, or even better, just leave all of us alone, we do fine without your Bronze age moralizing.
on his blog in this blog post. And of course this pissed then off. Strangely, it also pissed off some people who claimed that they weren't Christians or religious. They said Calvin was being mean to the Christians by putting up his blog post and using the above accurate picture, in other words Calvin wasn't being respectful enough of the Christian fairy tale for their tastes.
Well, you know what? Unless you agree with them 100 % and accept their fairy tales as fact they will never ever leave you alone. It matters not a bit to them that you don't believe. They keep trying to turn you into one of them. If you tell them to leave you alone, they keep coming at you endlessly repeating their version of their fairy tale. And they claim they only do this because they love you and want to save you from hell so you can go to heaven. So no matter what you say they keep trying to turn you into one of them.
They say are using their freedom of speech to talk to you about their fairy tale and they are merely exercising their freedom of religion to try to rope you into being a part of their particular sect. So, it's all perfectly fine for them to use those rights which are given to them under the US Constitution. However, it's not okay for you to use your right of free speech to say anything they decree as bad about religion and their fairy tale. They love to ignore the fact that freedom of religion also means that you and I are free not to have one if we so choose. They shout we're declaring war on their fairy tale by not joining them in their mass delusion. They say that we have to respect their fairy tale while they show no respect for our decision to think for ourselves and to not join them in their religion.
Well, I call bullshit on them. No matter how many times you tell me the 'good news' about Jesus I'm not going to believe it. No matter how many times you invite me to your church, I'm not going to come. No matter how loudly you proclaim that you are a true believer and that I should be as well, I'm going to scoff at you. And I'm going to back up people like Calvin who choose to speak out against the Christian Taliban and their insidious anti intellectual, anti science, and anti common sense nonsense.
If you believe in one of those fairy tales, be it the Christian one, the Jewish one, the Muslim one, the Sikh one, the Scientology one, or the Wiccan one, then that's fine. It's your life and you can choose what you believe in. I choose to believe in common sense and what I can see, hear, feel, taste, and touch. I choose to put my faith not in things I can't see or hear, but in what's real. If you get off on Jesus, or Moses, or Joseph Smith, or Xenu, then that's on you, just don't try to make me believe in the same shit as you and don't tell me or my friends that we should keep quiet and show your religion some respect if you don't respect our decision not to have a religion.
And you people, especially you born again Christians, need to stop using your book of fairy tales to justify hating on gays, black people, Mexicans, women, and science. Grow the hell up and evolve with the rest of us, or even better, just leave all of us alone, we do fine without your Bronze age moralizing.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Just when you thought it was safe to go to Canada
Damn you for keeping this abomination under wraps Calvin! Was it your evil plan to lure us naive Americans to Canada so we'd get snared in the tentacles of doom?
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