Monday, December 29, 2008

Interview with a Pedestrian

My friend XUP (that stands for Ex-Urban Pedestrian) has resurrected the interview meme. Since I am my favorite subject to write and talk about I agreed to let her send me five questions. Here are her questions along with my answers.

1) You've talked a lot about your heart surgery. Are you a different person now than before you had the surgery? (Not just physically, but mentally, spiritually, philosophically?)

Yes. After the heart attack and the surgery I have become more aware about the things I eat and the kind of environments I allow myself to be in.

The biggest physical change has been my heart operates much better now, I have a nifty scar on my chest, and I have a little numbness left in my leg where they opened it up and took an artery, or vein or whatever it is they take, to make the bypasses with. Some days I think the numbness is gone for good but then it comes back a little. But don't get me wrong, it's not painful or anything, it's just annoying.

Mentally I have changed a bit in that I don't suffer fools gladly anymore. And wrapped up in that is I don't allow myself to be put into stressful situations, most of which arise from being around members of my nutty family who live in the south. Most of the family I have who live south of the Mason Dixon line, and a few who live north of it as well, are toxic stressors to me and I avoid them like the plague. I don't need the stress or the hassle of being involved with them and I'm far better off with out them in my life. Another mental change is that sometimes my filter that is supposed to stop me from making bad comments about others sometimes doesn't work too well since the heart attack and in some cases it's a good thing but when I say mean shit to people who don't deserve it I feel like crap.

Spiritually I have not changed at all. I had come to the realization years ago that when humans could not explain the universe around them they needed to invent a god who made every thing and who loved them. The notion that I had to follow a set of rules laid down in the stone age in order to be a good person I found out was just nonsense. There may have been a person named Jesus who was born in the year zero but there's no way he was the son o' god because there is no god. But if you need to believe in that religious stuff then that's okay by me, just don't expect me to believe it and don't try to convert me to whatever religion you believe in.

I remain philosophically bankrupt just like I was before the heart attack.

2) You appear to be a great cook and gourmet. What would you request for your last meal and who would prepare it?

Thanks for the compliment. I don't consider myself a gourmet, just a well meaning gourmand.

My last meal would be cooked by someone other than myself because no matter how good a cook I may be, it's always nice to eat food prepared by someone else. I'd choose as a starter Southwestern Spring rolls from Damon's, that's a chain restaurant in my area. I'd have Pad Prik with pork from the Stir Fry Cafe, another local restaurant. I'd also have Tandoori chicken and aloo sag with na'an bread. For dessert I'd have coconut cream pie, banana pudding, and German chocolate cake. I'd wash it all down with a variety of Canadian beers and some Pinot Noir.

3) What's the most disgusting thing you ever smelled?

Rotten duck eggs. And the reasons why Bush/Cheney said we had to go to war.

4)If you woke up one morning to discover you would be Oprah for 24 hours, what would you do? (suicide doesn't count)

I rather like Oprah, she's very well meaning and I think she's a geniuely nice person so I would probably like being her for 24 hours. Having said that though, if I was her for 24 hours I'd spend the whole day playing with my new lady parts. And I'd do things with Steadman in the boudoir that are outlawed in a few US states and certain maritime provinces of Canada.

5) In keeping with the holiday, what's the best gift you've ever received?

Best Christmas gift I ever got was a book from Sparky. She gave it to me the first year we gave each other gifts. It was a book called The Dissenters. And it was a collection of essays by famous, or infamous, depending on your point of view, Americans who disagreed with the prevailing political paradigm. It showed me that she really 'got me.'

She also gave me the best birthday present ever which was an aquarium, sadly I no longer have it because it sprang a leak but I loved that thing with a passion.

Excellent questions all Ms. XUP! Thanks for asking them!

If you'd like me to ask you five questions then please send me an email to monkeymuckATgmailDOTcom with the phrase 'Interview me' in the subject line.


Chris said...

"I don't suffer fools gladly anymore"

But yet, you allow us to comment anyway:)

themom said...

Very interesting answers. I lucked out with the vein taken from my leg, the scar is less than an inch and never bothers me. It was a new procedure, and a welcome one at that.

Karen said...

Great interview, Dr. M. I'm emailing you right now!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Which Maritime provinces would those be?

Anonymous said...

I'm both disappointed and yet delighted at your Oprah answer. The pictures your answer conjures up is disturbing. Also, I think you have your facts about the maritimes wrong. They're the biggest pre-verts going. Calgary is the place to go if you want some American-style morality

dguzman said...

What a fascinating peek into the Monkey brain!

K.Line said...

I love this post! My fave dessert ever is coconut cream pie (but only when the crust is perfect). And my second fave is banana cream pie - same proviso on the crust!

Missy said...

I have to agree with XUP on the Oprah answer. Very stirring.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

XUP-I have no facts about the maritimes so therefore none of them can be wrong. :) Boo ya!