He demanded to know what my relationship had been with Jane back in the day. I told him to shove off, that it was none of his business. He told me that he was going to run with a story that was nothing but a pack of lies and a bundle of untruths. What could I do? I'm in the middle of a Presidential campaign so I had to come clean.
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The fact is that Jane and I never were married. We were just close friends.
She hired me to help her run her lines and to teach her how to be more graceful in her scenes in movies and on stage. Like all women she dug my animal magnetism, my raw sexuality, and she wanted some monkey love. I put her off as long as I could but she was very persuasive.
She took me places and bought me things and she turned me into her monkey boy-toy. Soon I was under her spell and in her bed.
But things went down hill for us soon after we began our affair. 
It turns out Jane was a heavy smoker back then and I just could not abide it so I left her.
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It was right after I left Jane that I met and married Patty Hearst who I divorced later that afternoon.
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Of course if you ask Jane and Patty about any of this they will deny all of it. They both were so disraught and traumatized over my leaving them that they blocked it out. Now go, leave me alone for a while, I've got things to do , places to go, starlets to marry, you know, the usual stuff for a monkey like me.
