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Showing posts with label St. Patrick's day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label St. Patrick's day. Show all posts
Thursday, March 17, 2016
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Enjoy your green beer and being Irish for one day of the year with this, my all time favorite Irish joke that I wrote:
Two Irishmen were having an argument in a pub. They were arguing about which one of them had the better dentist. O'Neil said, "Oi, mines the best!" Paddy Flynn said, "No, mine is!" They went on like this for hours until Flynn finally got up, left the pub, and went to an IRA office and turned his friend in for being a British informer.
What's great about this joke is the blank look on people's faces after you tell it. It never fails to crack me up.
Now, feck off, eat a potato, and drink a Guinness, it's St. Patrick's Day after all.
Two Irishmen were having an argument in a pub. They were arguing about which one of them had the better dentist. O'Neil said, "Oi, mines the best!" Paddy Flynn said, "No, mine is!" They went on like this for hours until Flynn finally got up, left the pub, and went to an IRA office and turned his friend in for being a British informer.
What's great about this joke is the blank look on people's faces after you tell it. It never fails to crack me up.
Now, feck off, eat a potato, and drink a Guinness, it's St. Patrick's Day after all.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Happy St. Patrick's Day
I've got a lot of mixed emotions and feelings about St. Patrick's Day. On the one hand I'm glad we've set aside a day to honor the country where my mother's people came from because I identify with that side of the family waaaaay more than I do with my father's side. On the other hand I hate that most people celebrate the day like this douchebag:
Would it be okay celebrate MLK day by dressing in baggy clothes and wearing lots of bling bling or to dress up in outrageous pimp outfits? Is it fine to dress in a wife beater t shirt and shiny vinyl sweat pants and act like Tony Soprano on Columbus day? Nope. Then why is it permissible to get shit faced and act like an ass on the day that is supposed to honor the contributions of the Irish to this country?
Well, okay we may have brought it on ourselves what with our entertainment Irish American role models, case in point, that skeevy asshole Dennis Leary. Oy vey, I may have to start claiming my German heritage if that misogynist prick Leary says another stupid thing that brings shame and dishonor on all of us Irish Americans. And there's Shane McGowan lead "singer" of the Pogues. True, he's not an Irish American but he's close. And don't get me started on Bono, Enya, and all the Irish singers who do the never ending PBS fund drive specials.
Celebrating the Irish experience in America shouldn't begin and end with watching Darby O'Gill and the Little People, The Quiet Man, and stuffing gobs of corned beef, cabbage, and potatoes in your pie hole while you suck down Guinness after Guinness. It should begin with you watching that great movie about Bloody Sunday that starred James Nesbitt, finding a pedophile priest and punching him in the nads, and then running some guns to the Provisional IRA outpost nearest to you.
Now, you'll have to excuse me I have to run, my potatoes are boiling over, I need another shot of Irish whiskey, and my god damned U2's Greatest Hits CD is skipping. Oh the feckin' humanity. I curse my rotten Irish luck!
Would it be okay celebrate MLK day by dressing in baggy clothes and wearing lots of bling bling or to dress up in outrageous pimp outfits? Is it fine to dress in a wife beater t shirt and shiny vinyl sweat pants and act like Tony Soprano on Columbus day? Nope. Then why is it permissible to get shit faced and act like an ass on the day that is supposed to honor the contributions of the Irish to this country?
Well, okay we may have brought it on ourselves what with our entertainment Irish American role models, case in point, that skeevy asshole Dennis Leary. Oy vey, I may have to start claiming my German heritage if that misogynist prick Leary says another stupid thing that brings shame and dishonor on all of us Irish Americans. And there's Shane McGowan lead "singer" of the Pogues. True, he's not an Irish American but he's close. And don't get me started on Bono, Enya, and all the Irish singers who do the never ending PBS fund drive specials.
Celebrating the Irish experience in America shouldn't begin and end with watching Darby O'Gill and the Little People, The Quiet Man, and stuffing gobs of corned beef, cabbage, and potatoes in your pie hole while you suck down Guinness after Guinness. It should begin with you watching that great movie about Bloody Sunday that starred James Nesbitt, finding a pedophile priest and punching him in the nads, and then running some guns to the Provisional IRA outpost nearest to you.
Now, you'll have to excuse me I have to run, my potatoes are boiling over, I need another shot of Irish whiskey, and my god damned U2's Greatest Hits CD is skipping. Oh the feckin' humanity. I curse my rotten Irish luck!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Jaysus feckin' Christ...
...I almost forgot to wish everyone a happy St. Patrick's day!
So from everyone at Craggy Island Parochial House,
and from this red haired Irish woman who's picture I got off Flickr,
and from all of us here at Monkey Central,
So from everyone at Craggy Island Parochial House,
and from this red haired Irish woman who's picture I got off Flickr,
and from all of us here at Monkey Central,
Happy feckin' Saint Patrick's Day!
Now go play some Black 47, some U2, some Clancy Brothers, the Pogues, and even Sinead O'Connor and riverdance that ass of yours off.
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