Thanks for all the laughs

I watched Dave's final show.  It was great.  He was gracious, funny, and self deprecating to the very end.  He's been a true pro all his TV life.

I haven't watched much in the past few years, especially since we cut cable and went to streaming, but I'll miss him just the same.  He was always there for me in college, when I worked second shift in jobs after college, when he made the jump to CBS and the move to 11:30 PM.  I have fond memories of Late Night on NBC, the comedy they did on that show was so fresh and innovative for it's day, it blew my pot addled mind back then.  I hope I'll always remember things like him dropping stuff off buildings, sparring with Jane Pauley, Terri Garr, Brother Theodore, the uncomfortable Larry Bud Melman stuff, his mom, Mujibur and Sirajul, Biff Henderson, when he came back from his heart surgery, the Andy Kaufmann craziness, all the times Bill Murray livened things up.  Dave's show was there for me during my lean years when I didn't have much, during the days when I worked for that awful truck tire company, when I met Sparky, when I lived in Knoxville, and when I came back to Johnson City.

He's been a constant, a teacher, a friend, and a huge influence.  I've been a fan of his since the 1970's.  I'll miss him like crazy.  Hopefully I'll hit the Powerball or Mega Millions jackpot and I can buy a place in St. Bart's and maybe we can run into one another and he'll let me buy him a beer.

So long pal, I'll miss the holy hell out of you.

Here's Sarah Palin and that Todd guy she married with a list of things you can and can't joke about

"Howdy! I just wanna thank my lord Jesus for making that terrorist lover Dr. Monkey give us some space on his godless blog so we can tell you folks out there what you can and can't make jokes about. Isn't that right Todd?"

"Yes dear."

"Now some of you people think we are humorless Christian prigs but nothing could be further from the truth! We love a good laugh. Don't we Todd?"

"Yes dear."

"So, according to us and our lord who hates gays, hippies, left handed people, feminists, men who bake, and anyone who isn't white or who doesn't love Jesus, it's okay to make jokes about the following things:

• That boy Levi who got me, oops, I mean my daughter Bristol pregnant.
• Terrorists, unless they are the terrorists we like. And we like the terrorists who kill non-Christians, abortionists, socialists, Communists, anti capitalists, and who like snow machines.
• How gays and black people are going to hell.
• Democrats.
• What a sexual pervert David Letterman is.
  
• How Democrats and big government supporters are going to hell.
• Levi the big doody head.
  
• The Devil.
• Levi's strong sinewy muscle bound body that glistens in the night as he holds you in his young musky scented arms as he thrusts his young manhood inside you repeatedly while he hoarsely whispers, 'You're my favorite MILF' over and over again until he explodes like an atom bomb inside the womb that you thought wasn't fertile anymore.
• Wimpy husbands.
• Mexicans.
• Witches.
• Roman Catholics, because they aren't Christians anyways.

So right there, that's plenty of stuff you all can make your little jokes about. Isn't that right Todd?"

"Yes dear."

"You can't make jokes about:

• Jesus.
• our family.
• snow machines.
• people who love Jesus, our family, and snow machines.
• vibrating objects.
• my wardrobe.
• whoever Jesus chooses to be the Republican Presidential nominee.
• Phyllis Schlafly.
• Baptists.
• evangelicals.
• people who shoot wolves from helicopters.
  
• people who speak in tongues.
• Did I say Jesus already?
• Just in case he's listening or if he reads this blog, Jesus.

So, that stuff is off limits, okay then? Jesus will smite you if you make any jokes about any of that stuff, yeah, you betcha. Isn't that right Todd?"

"Yes dear."

"Is that all you can say Todd?"

"No dear."

"Prove it. What else can you say Todd?"

"Fine. You asked for it. Every day I pray that death takes me so I won't have to listen to your grating voice anymore. I wish I hadn't let my penis talk me into marrying your crazy ass. I wish..."

"Okee, dokee, then. That's enough out of you Todd. I see I'm going to have to put your testicles back in the jar when we get home. That's all from us for now, don't forget to remember that big government is bad! And Jesus hates socialism! Yeah, you betcha!"