"I'm moving into the White House if Trump wins. I'm Melania's mother."
"I'll be fondling my guns while cowering in my basement covered in tears and jizz."
"Two words, revenge porn."
"I'll be shouting at hussies and pansies so that they can see that Jesus loves them if only they'd stop behaving the way God made them."
"We'll be having threesomes and singing barbershop quartet, so it's pretty much business as usual for us."
"Spend some quality time with my vibrator."
"Carrying out Uncle Adolf's vision."
"Fuck off, that's what I'm doing. Just you fuck right off right now."
"Pie. I'll be eating pie. And enjoying seeing a woman finally be a president elect."