Tuesday, March 17, 2015

How do you feel about the Hillary Clinton email 'scandal'?

"I feel nothing.  I am empty inside."

"I'm outraged by it but I don't have time to talk because I'm on my way to a Star Trek audition."

"It shows that Hillary feels like she can't trust big government, the very same big government that is forcing me to pose in this ridiculous manner, which is also the same big government that she helped institute."

"I get my hair cut in the style of Martin Luther, so what the fuck do I know about email?"

"Hillary is a witch!  Burn her!"

"Did someone mention something about Star Trek auditions?"

"I care not a fig for her emails.  What worries me is her unstinting support for those genocidal maniacs in charge over there in Israel."

"I'm dead, can you not see that?  So honestly, I don't give a shit about her or her emails, or who's vagina her hubby is sliding a cigar into these days.  Wait...hang on...if I'm dead how am I answering questions?  Why am I still sentient?  Is this heaven?  Hell?  Oh shit, I think it's New Jersey.  Well, if that's the case I'm fucked.  Thanks a lot Obama."

"Oh, I see, you finally include a woman.  I see that I'm nothing but a token in this post.  You ask a bunch of men including a dead one before you get around to asking me.  Well, you know what?  I'm not telling you what I think.  And I'm not going to bake you a pie or even be nice to you.  So go away.  I mean it."

No comments: