"We went shopping, then we cried our eyes out."
"We silently judged everyone we looked at."
"Prayed that the tests come back negative."
"I told my pets about Jesus."
"Married my horse."
"Went to the gloryhole with my non gay husband."
"I froze my tits off, but camping outside of Best Buy was totally worth it. I got three bucks off a flat screen TV and some dude groped my ass."
"Look deep in to my eyes...you are getting sleepy, very sleepy..."
"I shamed poor people. I'm tired of those bastards using all their savings this time of year to buy presents for their lazy kids who won't quit school and get jobs to buy their own cheap presents."
"I spent the day trolling right wingers on Facebook. I love pissing those idiots off."