Saturday, October 12, 2013

A Monkey Movie Report

It had been a while since I watched a really bad movie but after seeing this turkey
I'm good to go.

You'd think from the poster and the title that this film would be about the Sapphic side of the old west but if you did think that, you'd be dead wrong partner.

The film starts off with a scene of two young people, a brother and his younger sister, burying their parents, who I'm sure died of mortification over how their children turned out.  Once the old folks are in the ground the siblings mope around and claim they'll be there for one another forever and they give each other 'sexy' looks.  They go about their lives doing chores, the brother chops wood and uses a pitchfork to move hay a foot and a half from where ever it started out.  The sister mopes around and does a bit of cooking and mopily flirts with her brother.  Their attraction to one another builds and as soon as big brother spies his naked sister in the creek, that settles it, they're gonna fuck.  But not before they mope around some more and swear they're never gonna leave one another.

Finally, after they both masturbate while thinking of the other, they get it on.  And oddly enough for their first time, and most every time after that, they have intercourse despite the fact that big brother is still wearing his pants.  They get on in her bed, on a blanket in the barn, on the kitchen floor, and in the creek.  They can't stop doing it.  They shag so much in fact that they neglect their chores and the farm falls into disrepair.

The guilt of letting the farm slide is too much for big brother, he doesn't seem too guilty over the fact that he's dipping his wick in his sister's candle though.  His solution to his problem is to go into town and find him another woman so he can get his sexy sister out of his head and bed.  So he rides the three miles into town and he hooks up with the first saloon hooker he sees.  He tells her that his sister is back home all alone and upon hearing that news, an eavesdropping cowboy rides out to see sister.  Brother nails the hooker, this time at least he has the courtesy to take off his pants and the cowboy at the farm rapes the sister after she feeds him supper.

The next day big brother goes home to find sis naked and crying on her bed.  She tells him what happened and big bro stomps off to town to avenge his sister.  While bro is in town the hooker rides out to see his sister.  Big brother gets into a gun fight with the raping cowboy and he gets killed and while that is going down, his sister and the hooker are going down on each other because as the hooker tells the sister, sometimes it takes a woman to help another woman who's been traumatized by rape to feel better by having sex with her.

Cut to the brother being buried as sis and the hooker stand stoically by the graveside.  Then fade to black.  And that's the film.  And it's all dreadfully bad.  It's amateurish and hard to watch because the actors have no charisma and they deliver their lines like they all just woke up from a coma.

Don't get me wrong though, the woman who played the sister, Sharon Matt, is very easy on the eyes and her best scenes are when she's naked.  And she's naked quite a bit in this film.  She also goes commando through out it too.

But the bottom line is this is a bad bad bad movie.  It's not in the 'so bad it's kind of good' category either.  It's just bad.  The sex scenes are the least sexy in the world, despite the hotness of Ms. Matt.  The acting is atrocious and the sets are laughable.  It's billed as an erotic western but it's hardly erotic and it's just barely a western.  It's just bad.

1 comment:

Brewella Deville said...

But it's in "searing color," it just has to be good.