Friday, August 9, 2013

Children of the world: Italy (Remixed)

 Italian parents are no longer allowed to drop children off at the park so they can be raised by feral cats and dogs, by law now they must provide them with some sort of shelter.  Lucky children are allowed to live in cars that have been donated by Americans.  Unlucky ones must live on the grounds of the Vatican.

 Children in Italy are frequently allowed to eat with adults.  The most delicious looking ones are fattened up and eaten during the feast of Saint Arbuckle.

Indoor bathing is still prohibited by law in most all Italian cities, so children who want to clean themselves must do so in public fountains and watering troughs.

 Until recently it was thought that it was a waste of time to teach an Italian child to read.

 The most popular exhibit at all Italian museums is 'The history of the penis in ancient and modern art.'
Children in Italy are encouraged to ride public transportation.  The hope is the money they will steal off foreigners will be used to buy more cheap wine and heroin.

 Italian oral hygiene is second only to that of the British.

 Priests in Italy don't molest Italian children, but they do use Italian children to help them meet children who aren't as dirty and disoriented as native born Italians.

Ping pong is the most popular pastime for Italian children.  Huffing gasoline and running into traffic are second and third.

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