"I refuse to marry a woman after I finish my sex change."
"Dude, I just farted."
"It's comforting to know that I hate Scalia as much as he hates gay and transgendered people."
"I don't care who marries who as long as I get to jump out of the cake at a bachelor party."
"Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of all those evangelical Christian men getting boners from looking at me."