Thursday, September 13, 2012

Monkey Movie Reports

I can't believe it took me so long to see this awesomely bad cheesy movie.  Harvey Keitel plays a NYPD detective who is an alcoholic, drug, sex, and gambling addict.  There is nothing 'bad' that he won't do.  This film has always been billed as a gritty visceral drama about addiction and redemption, but that's total bullshit, it's really a super cheesy black comedy.  I laughed out loud at most parts of it. It's not bad, or very profound, it's mainly stupid and laughable.

Young feminists and lesbians have angsty relationships as they spread the word about how women are just as cool as guys.  They sleep around, break up, and make up.  They're all very cute and they all kiss one another, a lot, which is a huge plus for me in this type of film because damn it people, I'm not made of stone, I like to see pretty girls kissing every now and again.  The plucky gals pull off a huge media based coup, after many montages of them having fun, slam dancing at what passes for a punk rock show these days, and doing their political action.  It's all very earnest and all but I couldn't take watching it in one sitting.  It's not bad, it just takes it self too seriously at times and when it doesn't it's not very good.  

Colin Farrell kicks total ass in this wicked little moody downbeat modern British gangster picture.  It's not as self consciously hip as the gangster films of Guy Ritchie are and that's a huge plus.  Farrell, Ray Winstone, Keira Knightly, Sanjeev Bhaksar, and Anna Friel are all swell in this movie.  I highly recommend this one.

I like Miranda July, I really do.  I like what she does, I like her look, and I like her style of movie.  But this picture was a bit too 'twee' for me.  It's about a horridly cute young couple who want to adopt a sick cat who can talk and yes, the cat's voice is as cloying and annoying as you'd imagine a would be.  The couple also decide to unplug from the parts of their life they don't like and this ends up causing the husband to meet and bond his future self and the wife t have an affair with a guy who owns a sign business.  Oh, and the husband also figures out he can stop time.  Yeah, I know, it sounds fucking stupid and it is.  As I watched it I wanted to build a time machine so I could go back in time and talk Ms. July out of making this turkey. 

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