Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Brutally honest product reviews

This will be a semi regular feature from now on, these brutally honest product reviews. Don't look for it every day or even every week but it will be back as I encounter and try new products.

  • Abita Turbodog beer-Barely drinkable dreck. It's a step above some beers but it's not too far off from being undrinkable swill. Which is surprising considering that Abita Raspberry Wheat and Abita Golden Ale are among my favorite beers ever tasted.
  • Depot Street Brew's Eurail Golden Ale-Divine. I've yet to have a bad beer that's been made by Depot Street brewery. Sorry out of towners, it's a local brewery. You'll have to buy it here in the Tri-Cities to savor it's flavor.
  • Messiah He-Brew Nut Brown Ale-Not bad, but not good either. It lacks bite and it's well not worth the $9.50 I paid for it. Leinenkugel's Fireside Nut Brown is a much better nut based beer and it's almost two bucks cheaper than the Messiah stuff.
  • Want to know what evil tastes like? Here you go:
These noodles are shit. They taste like shit and they turned our homemade chicken noodle soup into a glutenous mass of ick. Mrs. Miller needs to go back to the test kitchen and come up with a recipe for noodles that doesn't suck as bad as these do. They are seriously bad, so bad in fact I'm willing to name them the source of all evil ever perpetrated since time began. I cooked them the according to the instructions on the over priced bag and they still sucked. No amount of cooking could help the taste and texture of these gawd awful tasting noodles. I've had good tasting no yolk noodles and these were not them. In fact, these were the stone cold polar opposite of good, they were bad. Horrible. Awful. DO NOT BUY THESE NOODLES. THEY FUCKING SUCK.

More brutally honest product reviews to come, stay tuned.

3 comments:

Blueberry said...

She's a terrible singer too.
http://youtu.be/o2wheSpxL94

kirby said...

I tried a Leinenkugel (not the nut brown) a while ago. Remember that scene where Buddy the Elf sprays the perfume on his tongue? It was kind of like that.

Dr. MVM said...

Yeah Kirby, not all beer makers make great beers.