Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Meet the Liberals!

There's a new family in your neighborhood. They're the Liberals.

They don't own their home, they rent it because they pay most of their income in taxes, those stinking do-gooders. They pay more of their income in taxes than Verizon, Exxon-Mobil, and most other Fortune 500 companies. Those Liberals, they think that corporations should be more like them but if the corporations paid more in taxes then profits would be down and shareholders wouldn't make as much profit.
The Liberals like to meet others and to try influence their thinking. They spread that suspicious 'love they neighbor' stuff. And they try to get others to stop making money long enough to do things like keep the community clean and keep the library open. Those Liberals, they're always trying to ram their world view down the throats of others.
The Liberals don't go out often because if they did it would take away time from brainwashing their children. Sometimes the Liberals don't let their children watch TV because they fear it might turn their kids into misanthropic greedy money mongers, which is proof that the Liberals hate our god given free enterprise system.

The Liberals teach their children respect for plants, animals, and the earth in general, which is a waste of time because we all know Jesus and God want us to use up everything before the non Christians can get their filthy Sharia laced hands all over it. Liberals have been known to feed stray animals, homeless people, and gay Muslim Communist terrorists. Imagine that, our food, which is the best in the world because it's been fortified with all those chemicals from Monsanto, Archer Daniels Midlands, and Amway, going to feed stupid animals and brown skinned people who hate Jesus.

Liberals have also been known to show love and be friendly towards gays and Scientologists, which as we all know pisses off Jesus more than anything.

So beware the Liberals and if they try to move into your neighborhood, you should send them packing before they rope you into picking up trash outside your local library or installing a solar panel on Nazi Muslim's safe house. Enlist the aid of your local Baptist minister and pray the Liberals away before your taxes go up.


Anonymous said...

Billy's packing a big stick.

Lsamsa said...

My word...they're all so 'happy' looking!

intelliwench said...

Genius! Thanks for the warning!

Ricky Shambles said...

Damn, were you hanging out in my neighborhood this week? Should've called. We could've had an overly-pricey lunch at an over-rated "bistro."

ReaderRita said...

If there is a God, I thank him/her/it for you.