Friday, February 11, 2011

The Top Gear guide to deflecting criticism of racism

1) First off when you do make racist comments, make them about a group of people from a country not near your own, preferably the country in question should be across an ocean from you.

2) When caught, loudly proclaim your original remarks were a joke and insist that people stop taking everything you say so damn seriously, after all you're just a trio of blokes on a BBC show that's rebroadcast worldwide. It's not like you're on the internet mouthing off and shit.

3) Make people forget the racist stuff you said by saying more racist stuff. For instance if you make remarks about Mexicans, do a bad Chinese accent and say, "Me no rikey dat you carr me lacist." Then say something about a German saluting Hitler and top that off with your impression of the Swedish chef from The Muppet Show.

4) Get your employer to offer up weak as shit apologies while you go off, get dead drunk with that talentless 'comedian' Russell Brand, and leer at his wife's big tits.

5) If a woman calls you on her racism, call her a castrating bitch and tell her to go slap some lipstick on after she gets you a pie.

6) Just ignore it all together because after all, you're white, male, and moderately famous, so what the fuck do you care if you insult a nation of millions. It's not like they'll be coming to England to kick your ass or anything.


Barbara Bruederlin said...

I have never heard of that show, and by the sounds of it, I am happy to keep it that way. It doesn't sound funny anyway.

Ricky Shambles said...

Damn it, we never get the good stuff. BBCAmerica is like Al-Jazeera in English. The show's kind of Meh, but I'd catch that one.

And hey, if they can run a lucrative drug cartel and catch American employment in this economy, I wouldn't put it past a gang of pipe-bangin' vatos to hop the pond and go to work on those smug gits.

My fav comment: Mexican food is like "sick with cheese on it."