Thursday, December 30, 2010

Tuckered out

According to political 'pundit,' corporate apologist, and bow tie wearing homophobe Tucker Carlson, Michael Vick should have been executed for his crimes in the dog fighting scandal. So, with that kind of harsh sentencing in mind I'm betting ol' Tucker will gladly go along with these other harsh sentences:
  • Rush Limbaugh should be drawn and quartered for abusing his prescription pain killers.
  • George Bush should be flogged, dipped in salt water, and left to die in the dessert for causing the deaths and displacement of hundreds of thousands of Iraqis and Afghans.
  • Henry Kissinger should be beaten with a thin metal rod and then have molten lead poured in his asshole for backing Pinochet in the Chilean coup that over threw the legally elected government of Chile in 1973.
  • Margaret Thatcher should be forced to stand in waist deep water until she dies so that she may atone in some small way for the way she treated striking coal miners in the UK in the 1980's.
  • Billy Graham gets to be anally raped by drooling West Virginia meth addicts because he said it was fine to kill all the godless Commies in Vietnam.
  • Dana Perino should be drug naked through acres of cacti because she lied so many times during her years as Bush's press secretary.
But somehow I doubt that asswipe Carlson will agree with these sentences I have meted out because he's a gutless whiny punk ass punk who's sense of white entitlement is bigger than the the planet Jupiter. People like him should be forced to clean toilets in the slums of Calcutta and Mumbai until they learn some humility.


Kal said...

For my money the worst on this list is Perino. The others are stupid idealogs who you expect asshole behaviors from. But her smirking, condescending looks that let me know that she understands EXACTLY the bullshit balloon juice she is saying is a load of crap but is being said is JUST such a way as to sound totally legit to the hillbilly nation is beyond evil - like Warden at an all female prison evil.

Anonymous said...

Tucker Carlson had better watch his back. Being a ridiculous, right wing provocateur/attention whore is Ann Coulter's job, isn't it?

gmb said...

Kai: Dana Perino is dumb as a post. The dumbest on the list. You may recall that she was unfamiliar with the Cuban Missile Crisis and even her husband was horrified.
That said, I say give them Vick if we get the others. Good trade.

Kal said...

(sorry Dr. M. I gotta take this)

Turning them all over to the tender mercies of Michael Vick is such a great idea. If anyone ever had the taste for executing torture and terror on a fellow creature (and enjoying it) it's Michael Vick.

libhom said...

Tucker is so desperate for attention. He will probably call for the death penalty for jaywalking just to get some press.