Thursday, July 1, 2010

Reality Round Up

As long time readers of this blog know I only watch 'reality' TV shows that require their contestants to have some sort of actual talent to win. The ones I watch are Project Runway, Top Chef (but not that horrid Top Chef Masters and I'll be skipping the Top Chef Just Desserts show because I hate Gail Simmons), Next Food Network Star, Design Star, and my new favorite Work of Art.

Despite having Sarah Jessica Horse Face as the executive producer, I'm all in on the artist show. I love to watch the artists process, their thinking, and their creating. On one hand I've always hated artists who prattle on about their art and their thought process behind it but on the other hand slick editing can make that shit tolerable on a TV show like this.

My favorite artists on this show are the fat fry cook who is a Photoshop wizard:
His stuff is always thought provoking and visually striking. And he can do more than just manipulate images in Photoshop, he can also paint, and design.

My absolute favorite is Abdi:
His art, in my opinion, is always consistently head and shoulders above the rest. It's well made, looks good, and it fits the challenges. He seems like a nice and genuine person as well. He also can do many different styles of art, from painting to sculpture to computer work. My money is on him to win the whole thing.

My favorite person on the show however, is this guy:
He's 'the mentor.' The guy is the epitome of art world cool. He's seen it all before and he's not afraid to call bullshit when it needs to be called. He's the Tim Gunn of this show, which is something that a show like Top Chef needs. And don't tell me that Tom the Bear is 'the mentor' on Top Chef, he's not. He's a judge. Just like Tim Gunn doesn't judge, Simon on the art show doesn't judge, he mentors and guides the artists.

The artists on the show I hate are the phony Jaclyn. She calls herself a feminist who hates the sexist objectifying male gaze, but then she turns around and creates art based on her body and her big tits. She hates being objectified by the male gaze but she goes out of her way to make sure that men are looking and lusting after her. And she's a damn lying twat as well. When she gave Erik no props for his idea of letting the viewers of her latest narcissistic 'art' work write comments on her photos with markers after first thanking him for the idea, she showed herself to be a back stabbing bitch with no ethics or morals. I'm also not loving Miles and much as the judges are and the gal who feels the need to let everyone know she's a Christian every five minutes is pretty annoying as well.

As far as the other reality shows I'm watching go, here's the quick lowdown:

  • Note to contestants on Design Star and Next Food Network Star, take off your fucking hats. If your whole persona is built around wearing your lucky hat or a stupid trucker hat, then you don't need to be on TV, you need to be working in a carnival some where.
  • Texas produces some of the most annoying reality show contestants in the history of the world. Cases in point that hideous Dzintra and the chick who got the boot on Design Star a couple of weeks ago.
  • Never make excuses for your lack of spice control in your food, that goes double for chubby backstabbing hat wearing chefs. Seriously, take off your hat unless you're in the kitchen working. I mean it.
  • I'm glad to see more people of color on Top Chef this time around. I was beginning to think that all the top chefs were lily white and obnoxious. I'm glad to see that there are some obnoxious black folks out there who can cook.
  • I'll stalk those damn judges and hobble them for life if they don't kick Nina off Design Star pretty soon. That bitch is a walking, living, breathing example of why people hate New Yorkers.


libhom said...

The only unreality show I would ever watch would be where the winner gets to fire Donald Trump or trash Martha Stewart's house.

southernfemalelawyer said...

Just started watching this and may not be able to continue until Tanny McCheckoutmyboobs is gone. I don't care about the boobs, or showing the boobs, or the fake 'ooo! don't look at my boobs/HERE ARE MY BOOBS!!!' crap so much as I can't stand someone who takes credit for shit they had NOTHING to do with.

Dr. MVM said...

I can't stand her SLF, she's got to go.

Cormac Brown said...

This season of Top Chef Masters was actually better than the last one. I seriously think that you should give it another viewing when they do their next marathon.

As far as Work of Art? This past episode where two of the three contestants basically sabotaged Erik, just pissed me off completely. I hope that those two throw each other under the bus.