Thursday, June 3, 2010

Okay. I get it. Now move along please.

A round up of things pissing me off right now.
1) Okay, Justice Anthony Kennedy, I get it. Okay? I get the fact that you don't want any defendants in our criminal justice system to have any rights whatsoever. I understand that. You were appointed by St. Ronnie and you're an activist judge who is active for the state and for corporations. Now please move the fuck on to the next phase of your life and retire before you take any more rights away from the citizens of this country. You'll never have to worry about being oppressed by the police who you love to give more and more power to so fuck you.

2) a-Okay Christian idiots, I get it. You hate science because your religion dissolves under scientific scrutiny. I get that. I understand it. I also understand that you hate and fear the theory of evolution, so much so in fact that you invented a different theory to explain what evolution does. Little problem with that though, the creationism and intelligent design stuff you came up with, aren't science or scientific. Evolution can be proven to exist. Your supernatural mumbo jumbo can't be proven using the scientific method. So call it what ever you like but don't call creationism or intelligent design science.

b-Okay Christians, I get the fact that you people hate it when I lump you in with the ghoulish gay sex obsessed jackals at Westboro Baptist, the 700 Club, and the Roman Catholic Society of Child Molesters. I understand your hatred of me when I do that. But you see, the point is that you're all Christians and if you say that Westboro Baptist, or Pat Robertson, or the priest who stuck his finger up a little boy's ass and then jerked off while sniffing it as the kid whimpered isn't as much of a Christian as you are, well, you're kidding yourself. You don't get to pick and choose who is and who isn't a Christian. The yardstick for that spiritual measurement isn't whether the person in question is Christ like, hell if that were the definition than nobody would be a Christian, it's whether that person in question calls himself that or not. I'm not a Christian but that guy who shot Dr. Tiller is. And you call me a bad person for not believing in your fairy tale and for lumping you in with people who share your beliefs? Okay, I get it. You're delusional.
3) Okay I get it people, I farted and my fart stinks. I get it. Now move the fuck on with your lives.

4) Spaceships! Take me away. Oh wait, I get it, you won't come here because we're not evolved enough. I get it. Damn it, I get it.

5) Okay Ted Haggard, I get it. You're starting another church. Since I'm not a believer and never will be ever again, I'll not be attending the First Church of Meth Crazy Jesus Has A Big Boner. Good luck with that though.

6) Hey Russell Brand, I totally get it. You say stupid shit and have wild and crazy hair. And you're boning that no talent chick who sings about kissing other chicks. Guess what douchebag? I don't think you're funny and both you and your girlfriend are frauds. And Ace Ventura called, he wants his hair back. Now, if you'll be so kind, please slink back to your home country and finish the surgery that's turning you into Amy Winehouse. Once your 'comedy' career is over you can come back here and have a nice little go at being lead singer in Ms. Winehouse's tribute band.

7), 8), and 9) Okay. I get it right wing pundits, Republicans who 'hate' big government, and corporate apologists, in your eyes BP did nothing wrong and the oil that's gushing out into the Gulf of Mexico is totally not a problem. You know what, if you really believe the shit that's coming out of your mouth, then you should totally buy some beach front property on the Gulf and you should be forced to eat nothing but fish and fowl that's been killed as a result of the oil disaster. If we find a planet that's like earth but it's uninhabited, you idiots aren't allowed to go. Nope. You're going to have to stay here and live in the mess you helped create and Sarah Palin and her off spring will be your leaders until the end of time. Have fun morons!


padraig said...

"First Church of Meth Crazy Jesus Has Big Boner"

Wait. Wouldn't that be kind of awesome?

Devilham said...

I still don't get it

DrGoat said...

Totally agree, especially 7,8 and 9.

Kate said...