Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Keeping it real all summer long

The only 'reality' TV shows I watch are the ones where you have to have some talent to win them. I watch Project Runway, Top Chef (But not Top Chef Masters because I hate the host and most of the judges.), Design Star, and Next Food Network Star. With the exception of PR, all three shows are either back on or coming back on soon.

We caught the season opener of Food Network's Next Food Network Star the other night and here's my thoughts on it:

1) They need to change the name of this show to 'Win Yourself a Show on Food Network.' The past few people who've won this series are nowhere near star status and they run their shows when no one is watching. They made a star out of the idiot with the spiked hair and I guess they regret it so much they haven't put much of any push behind making the others a star.

2) Food Network needs to give Susie Fogelson her own show. And it needs to be a three hour show of just her sitting, smiling, and staring into the camera with those smokey eyes of hers while she wears sheer lingerie.
Seriously, they are wasting her talents by not putting this gorgeous woman out front on camera.

3) I hate the black female contestant in this new series. She's a real twat for ragging on the other gal who went to the hospital with the scratched cornea. She kept saying what a wuss the injured woman was and that if it was her, she never would have left. We all know that's bullshit. But if she'd like to actually find out what she'd do, I'm willing to jab her in the eyeball with a rusty nail. Then we'll know for sure if she'd gut it out or seek medical help.

4) The contestants I like are:
Aarti the Indian gal. She's got what it takes to be a host and it looks like she can cook. Her only problem may be that she relies too much on cooking Indian food. Last season the Korean gal cooked only Korean food and she beat it over our heads that she was Korean. If Aarti wants to win then she's going to have to prove she can cook any style of cuisine.
Serena the Italian spitfire. I like this firebrand because she's so feisty. She may not have the goods to go all the way but it'll be fun watching her try.

I'd watch either of these gals if they got their own show.

5) Contestants I don't like are:
This idiot. I'm glad he got booted off on the first show. I took an instant dislike to him when I saw his intro. He said, "I live on a farm but I don't wear a straw hat, overalls, and I don't have a piece of straw sticking out of my mouth." Wow. Really Nancy? You live on a farm and yet you don't dress and act like a stereotype? Go fucking figure. And go home and stay there.

I'm not impressed with the gal from Wisconsin with the big eyes. The judges seemed to love her but she was just annoying to me. Fake and annoying.

Most of the male contestants stink. They're either smarmy or too inexperienced to have a show.

Poor Doreen. I'm rooting for her to stay in it just so I can ogle her and so I can see how badly she does week after week. But seriously, this chick is a train wreck waiting to happen and a nervous breakdown away from a long stay in the Thorazine Hotel.

Whatever happens though, one thing is for sure, we'll be overdosing on Bobby Flay by the time this run of shows is over.


Mnmom said...

I don't have cable, so can't share your enthusiasm. Me? I'm looking forward to another summer of Wipeout and the giant red booby balls, because life just doesn't have enough giant red booby balls.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Heh, heh, heh, you said 'booby.'

McGriddle Pants said...

I'm pretty sure that you have to have some sort of talent to be on Jersey Shore. I'm just not sure what that talent would be... ??

Anonymous said...

Bobby Flay? I was over that douche back when he used to grill alongside that pseudo-hick in the overalls. He needs to go away now.

libhom said...

I want to watch a reality show where the winner gets to fire Donald Trump.