Packed with the devil

I dashed off the post most previous as a joke never thinking for a moment some televangelist would be so callous and idiotic to say something near what I joked they might. And then up steps Pat Robertson to the crazy bar and he didn't order just one beer from the bartender, he ordered the whole god damn keg.
According to Pat the folks in Haiti brought this on themselves because they made a pact with the devil to get free from the French, after which his god cursed them for doing so. It's a true story he says!, and it must be true because we all know a Christian minister wouldn't lie, wink wink. All sort of things crossed my tiny mind when I heard his pronouncement, I thought he's a whack job deserving of nothing but scorn and derision. Then I felt pity for him because he's so old and obviously senile. Then I thought, "Holy shit, what if he's right!?!"

Think about it. If he's right and the black folks of Haiti had to make a deal with the devil to get free then the blacks in this country must have made the same deal to gain their freedom from the whites. So that means they're cursed too, just like the Haitians are! It all makes sense now. Think more about it, the blacks get freed during the Civil war and they enjoy a few years of peace and take white folks jobs and their women, but then Pat Robertson's god invents Jim Crow and his anti black laws and the Negroes get cursed to be second, hell even third, class citizens in their own country. They have to spend years dealing with their curse in the form of not only overt racism, but institutional racism, that's racism that codified into law in case you didn't know, as well. They were cursed at the school house door and their kids couldn't get the same kind of fancy book learnin' the white kids got. They were cursed on the job front so they went and got into criminal occupations, drug dealing, whore mongering, welfare fraud etc. They were cursed by banks who wouldn't give them the same kinds of mortgages that white folks got so they huddled into the ghettos. They were cursed at the ballot box when they were denied the right to vote, even after they fought to defend this country in numerous wars.

But one day the Christian god finally heard their prayers and he let things like the voting rights act pass, and Brown v. Board of Education, and then things snowballed from there. They got all sorts of rights and blessings until one day all the racism and curses disappeared when Barack Obama was elected President in 2008. So basically from the late 1950's on it's been a cakewalk for blacks in the USA what with the Christian god lifting his curse of them and all.

But while that god was blessing the blacks in the USA he never forgot about those dirty black bastards in Haiti who made a deal with the devil to get free from the French in the 1700's. Those son of bitches didn't suck it up and act all Uncle Tom enough for his tastes so he waited for just the right time to smote those mostly Roman Catholic apostates. Sure he had piled poverty on them for many years and he allowed US and European multi national corporations to rape and abuse them, but all that and the corrupt political leaders who screwed over the Haitian people for years wasn't enough for this god of Pat Robertson's. So he hit them with an earthquake when they least suspected it. And not just any earthquake, this one that Pat Robertson's god hit them with was a 7.0 on the Richter scale earth quake. Those damn Haitians had to be taught the hard way. Tough love is a bitch my friends, especially at the hands of the god who allows baby killing, drug abuse, child porn, and the FOX News channel to flourish.

Hang on though. Let's back up a sec, shall we? Isn't Pat Robertson's god an all powerful god who created everything? Didn't he also create the devil? And he allowed the Haitians to make a deal with the devil he himself created? Holy fuckin' hell. That's one fucked up god. Either he hated the Haitians from day one or he hates it when black slaves go free. And if the latter is really the case then he's sure to smite the USA for freeing the slaves and in about 30 or 40 years he's gonna inflict some serious pain on the USA, if what he did in Haiti is any indicator.

Or maybe Pat Robertson is a hypocritical senile old hateful gas bag who is as full of shit as a Christmas goose. Yeah, that's it. It has to be it. Because if it's not and he's right then, we're all sinners at the mercy of a homicidal thrill seeking batshit crazy god.