Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Book Deals in the News

Bigots, homophobes, and fans of idiocy rejoiced this week when news that former Miss California Carrie Prejean, seen here relaxing at home, got a book deal. It is not known if one can color all the pages in her new book or not, but what is known is that she requests that you stay inside the lines when coloring and that you do not use pink when you color the pictures of men.

In a related development the same publisher that is putting out Ms. Prejean's book has also signed these two cans of Spotted Dick to a book deal. A company insider said, "Hell, we figured if Miss Opposite Marriage could write a fucking book then a couple of cans of Spotted Dick would be able to as well. They're working on a gay mystery tentatively titled, 'The Case of the Disappearing Weenie.' We're expecting it to be huge darling, pun intended."

And finally, former President, serial liar, and greedy blood soaked murderer George W. Bush is having a rough time working on a tome about his disastrous Presidency. He's not having trouble putting words to paper, he's having trouble keeping his head out of his wife's ass.
No word yet on if Laura's ass is experiencing any complications from having her hubby's tiny pin head shoved up it.

6 comments:

Mauigirl said...

Dr. Monkey, this was a masterpiece of snark!;-)

I'm still laughing!

Margaret Benbow said...

"Spotted Dick?" That's right, make fun of those fine old English dessert names, you primitive colonist you! I suppose you'd sneer at Blueberry Grunt and Rhubarb Dump too.....

Anonymous said...

Coloring book? I was betting on a pop-up.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I'm hoping for an autographed copy of her book. Do you think she'll be signing her own X or will her publishers hire someone to do it?

Anonymous said...

Come on, Dr. Monkey, that's not fair. Everyone knows president Shrub is afraid of horses.

Karen Zipdrive said...

I see that spotted dick stuff at a couple of places I shop, but I'm too afraid to take it to the register, much less open it and taste it.