Thursday, January 1, 2009

Starting the new year out right

An old girlfriend who I had a bad break up with contacted me via Facebook yesterday. We were total opposites and it showed through out our brief relationship. We parted on bad terms and I was perfectly willing to go the rest of my life with out hearing from the cheatin' lyin' bitch ever again, but there she was contacting me via Facebook. She sent me a message that said something to the effect of, "Oh golly, it's been a long time since we talked so everything between us must be cool. So will you please be my friend on Facebook?"

I sent her back the following message, "Oh hey, how about that. You finally got the internet in the trailer park where you live. Good for you."


Now she doesn't want to be my Facebook friend anymore.

17 comments:

Karen Zipdrive said...

Meow!

Karen said...

I've had a plethora of old highschool "friends" suddenly sending me friend requests on facebook. What the heck? You haven't bothered to talk to me (or try to even find me) for the past 15 years and now you suddenly want to know what my status is every few hours? I don't think so.

Chris said...

Is Gail Ishimatsu coming back to haunt you? I warned you that those Coachella Valley chicks can be stalkery.

Madam Z said...

Try not to feel guilty, Dr. Monkey. Some people are just way too sensitive.

Snad said...

You know, I might be tempted to look up old high school class mates if I could remember one name. Can't.

Karen Zipdrive said...

One of the many reasons I hate Facebook is that a lot of people seem desperate to rack up as many "friends" as possible. As you illustrated, their criteria for 'friendship' seems to be merely knowing the person.
Feh.
Include me out.

barbie2be said...

*snort* i love you dr. monkey.

Anonymous said...

Dammit - I wish I could think that fast with the comebacks.

Cormac Brown said...

Happy New Year!

Of course, mine has started off on an odd note because now I have Bob Hope crooning "Skanks For The Memories" in my head.

Chance said...

Monkey,

Something very similar happened to me when a girl I dated became my IM "friend" for the sole purpose of telling me she was getting married now. I made what was in retrospect the mistake of being the big man and was very gracious.

I wish I'd had the courage to be petty, like you. No, really.

PJ said...

Ouch!

Anonymous said...

Oh snap! I guess your snappy retort hit a little too close to home for her.

Captain Karen is right. I hate it when I run into some former classmate, and they say, "Oh, we'll have to get together soon." Um, how about no? My parents still live in the same house, have the same phone number as I did in high school, and in thirty years you've never once bothered to try and contact me through them?

Anonymous said...

You have a way with words, Dr. Monkey. That was just perfect.

Joe said...

I refuse to get a Facebook account for exactly the reason you illustrate so well. No thanks.

So far I've been contacted by one friend from high school who went to the effort to google me and found where I work from a newspaper article I appeared in. And I didn't mind hearing from him.

Happy New Year, Doctor!

ReRe said...

that is hiliarious!

darkblack said...

This Facebook business is pernicious.
As if I need some putz from my past popping back into my consciousness...There are numerous reasons why they are in the rear view mirror of my life, would they rather be under the wheels instead?

;>)

Happy New Year, Doctor M.

Jaliya said...

Oh, yes ... Facebook is a mixed blessing. It went around my workplace like a virus, so all these people I barely knew, mostly didn't connect with (the culture of that place was *not* conducive to getting to know or even like your fellow employees), and didn't care to "share" online with, were suddenly wanting to be my "friend" online.

I'd been fooling around with Facebook, among *real* friends who are both online *and in my life* ... During that time, it was fun, and I did reconnect with two folks from my past with whom it's been delightful to get reacquainted.

But now. Yikes. I even had the ex-girlfriend of one my ex-boyfriends -- who was her boyfriend before he was mine -- contact me. What the hell do I have to say to her? It's been nearly 28 years. We were never "enemies" (high-school stuff, eh) -- I didn't steal her guy; he'd been swooning over me since we met, and it took me *years* to clue in. He finally broke his engagement w/ this girl and boom, he was on my doorstep. Heh ... I was a mad crush that didn't last. I didn't fall in love with him until I realized that he was starting to fall for somebody else. Then I agonized and moped for seven years. DONE.

Adolescence. Feh. Who wants to be reminded of it again, eh?

Anyway, I also had a recent "Let's chat!" invite on Facebook from someone I'd been to *nursery school* with, for God's sake. This was someone I probably threw crayons or a glue pot at! Or maybe she threw them at me -- but what do you say -- "Still got that scar above your eyebrow, Sandy?"

Facebook does bring some interesting complications into a life ... heh ... ;-D