Wednesday, November 26, 2008

It's Celebrity News Round Up time!

Annoying teen music sensations the Jonas Brothers not only won the Up and Coming Douchebags of the Year award at the American Music Awards recently, they also announced they recently lost their virginity to either Miley Ray Cyrus or her father Billy Ray Mullet Cyrus. They were pretty drunk at the time but they know they 'made boom boom' with someone in the Cyrus family. Way to go guys!
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In political pundit news, Ann Coulter had her jaw wired shut. This comes years after having her anus sewn shut. Men across the planet are silently praying to their gods that she gets her other orifice wired or sewn shut before she has a chance to reproduce.
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Are you wondering what two of the most repellent celebrities ever are doing for Thanksgiving?
Yeah, me neither.

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A war criminal's mother is reported to be ill. Somehow I just can't muster the energy to say that I give a shit because when I remember that the man who is responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths, millions of displaced people, and countless injuries sprang from her loins, I throw up in my mouth a little.

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There's no joke here,
I just wanted to end this post with a picture of some cute Swedish women. It's my way of giving back and also helping you forget the previous photo.

Happy Thanksgiving!

10 comments:

dguzman said...

Thanks for the redeemingly hot photo at the end!

Gifted Typist said...

yes, giving back after you took away with the previous photo

Unknown said...

Swedes yes Bush no - you know what I mean.

Elizabeth said...

There's enough poetic justice in this one post to last a lifetime.

Ubermilf said...

See, Barbara's deal with the devil to "stay alive until a black guy got elected" is now up.

She never thought she'd have to pay up!

(I feel bad for saying that. A little. I shouldn't wish death on anyone. Sorry. But I DO think she's in league with You-Know-Who. It's pretty plausible, I think.)

MommyLisa said...

If we were Facebook friends you could see the cute Norwegian women I know from living there...

Norwegians are way hotter for their entire lives than Swedes.

;)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Wat about some cute Icelandic boys? Think of your readership!

Mnmom said...

Ew, I grew up with Norwegians and they are NOT hot! They are boring and uptight.

Remember the first glimpse we all got of Barbara Bush back in the 80's and we all thought she was George HW's mother, not his wife?

Happy Thanksgiving my friend!

Anonymous said...

Dr. Monkey you are the most celebrity news I've read this entire year. I guess I can feel up-to-date on my pop culture, no?

Distributorcap said...

showing that award shows mean nothing -- the jonas brothers winning just confirms that

as for a-rod and m--don - i would bet he voted for mccain. so fuck him

as for Barbara Bush --- i know how painful an ulcer can be --- i just hope hers was a few notches higher. i too cannot give a shit about her