Monday, August 25, 2008

Bust out the Ouija board because I'm about to get all psychic on your asses

I predict that Bush McCain will say the following things in the future:

  1. "Yes, I lost the election but you know what? I never lost any elections when I was a prisoner of war."
  2. "Honey of course I let her give me a hand job. It's not like I got any hand jobs when I was a prisoner of war."
  3. "I don't use email because we didn't use email when I was a prisoner of war."
  4. "Okay, I called my wife a cunt but I never called her a cunt when I was a prisoner of war."
  5. "I ran over that Mexican pool boy on my way over here but it's okay because I ran over people when I was a prisoner of war."
  6. "I was a prisoner of war when I was a prisoner of war so lay off me okay?"
  7. "My favorite TV show when I was a prisoner of war was The Prisoner."
  8. "There were no uppity Negroes with aspirations of being President when I was a prisoner of war, so anything I might say that is offensive to that colored boy with the big ears is excused because guess what? I was a prisoner of war."
  9. "I stiffed that waitress because I need the money I would have tipped her to make a mortgage payment on one of my homes and because I was a prisoner of war."
  10. "It was supposed to be my time to be President because I've been a loyal Republican ever since I was a prisoner of war and because I used to be a prisoner of war."

13 comments:

pissed off patricia said...

Even when the dude dies, they will swear he can't be dead because after all, he was a POW

Odile said...

He really needs a good therapist, I can recommend a very good one, but he needs to come to Mexico... no wait he can´t come because he was a prisoner of war and leave the safe USA can be dangerous (we are not WASP here :D)

Blueberry said...

He's already said he's planning on on shamelessly continuing to use the word "gooks" because he was a prisoner of war - for real.

Little Merry Sunshine said...

John McCain was a prisoner of war (TM)? You don't say. I had no idea.

Ubermilf said...

Are you saying "Prisoner of War" is to McCain what "9-11" is to Giuliani?

Mnmom said...

And don't forget . . . he was a prisoner of war!
Why do you hate freedom? 9-11!!!

Elizabeth said...

Wasn't McCain a prisoner of war? I think you might have forgotten that one.

BeckEye said...

It reminds me of that Brian Regan bit about the astronauts who walked on the moon, how they can pretty much win any conversation by simply saying "I walked on the moon." Can Buzz Aldrin run for president?

Anonymous said...

Stolen from Roger Ailes via Rising Hegemon re McSame being a prisoner in Vietnam:

"So was Gary Glitter, and I'm not voting for him either."

dguzman said...

I would comment here, but comments weren't allowed when I was a prisoner of war.

Anonymous said...

LOL!!

beatgrl said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ...um, I mean shame on you Dr Monkey. You might not know this, but McCain is a former prisoner of war!

Suzy said...

POWs -- don't let them be forgotten!