Monday, April 14, 2008

Dear Internet Explorer,

I don't know how to break this to you but it's over between us.  I'm dumping you.

And you know what?  It's not me, it's you.  I'm dumping you because you suck.  No, seriously, you really suck.  I use to think Firefox was bad because it would erase my favorites every other day but that's nothing to your penny ante bullshit.

You take forever to load webpages, especially blogs.  I haven't been reading Maui Girl's blog, even though she was nice enough to comment on my posts, because it took you forever to load her page, but now I can thanks to my new web browser.  And speaking of commenting, I hate having to click yes or no on that little box that pops up when I used you on Blogger comment pages, just so you know, hell yeah I wanted to see the icons or as you refer to them, the "unsecured information."  My hatred for that bit of bullshittery will always burn brightly.

Why else do I hate you?  I hate your constant need for security updates.  I hated that fucking box that popped up and said that security updates were available from Windows.  You know what?  How about you greedy ass rats at Windows write some good code that hackers can't get to in the first five fucking minutes of it's inception.

You know what comes now Internet Explorer?  The part where I tell you I'm seeing someone else.  And I bet you know who I'm seeing.  Yeah baby, you know who it is.  Oh stop snivelling and say it.  Go on.  It'll do you good to admit it.  

I'm waiting.

Oh okay, be a big blubbering baby then.  I'm seeing, using, and loving Safari for Windows. That's right I'm using Apple's internet browser.  I dumped you for them.  Hahahahaha.  There, now I just gave you something to cry harder about.  So why don't you just go away and go bother someone else.  I'm sure some other sucker will use you, but I sure as hell won't if I can help it.

I'm free of your bullshit IE#7.  You are dead to me now.  I'd rip the pocket off my shirt and send it to you if I had an address for your sorry ass.  Addios you sorry piece of Microsoft junk.

Sincerely yours,
Dr. Monkey

13 comments:

Joe said...

Have fun with Firefox. I love it.

dguzman said...

So does this mean you're not taking me to the prom?

Love,
IE#7

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Safari, eh? And I thought Firefox was half decent. I'll check back on your honeymoon later.

Missy said...

I like Firefox...I have not used Safari for windows...it is nice on a Mac. IE is just so embarrassed is all. Good job trying to offer closure!

Fran said...

I prefer firefox to safari, but I prefer walking on hot coals to IE7, so it is all perspective!

GETkristiLOVE said...

Thank god I could dump IE too after getting my new iMac. Have you ever noticed that the IE process is always running whether you have the browser up or not.. um, hello - no wonder Windows' security sucks - nothing like having an open ended process up for the attacking. Good choice Dr. Monkey!

Distributorcap said...

i have firefox and i havent had any problems.......

i havent used IE in years.

Mel said...

Hahaha, I dumped IE last year, I'm with Firefox now... man, what a fox!! ;)

kim said...

I'm a swinger. I use Firefox, Opera, and Safari.

I.E. is a mean mean motha....

Whiskeymarie said...

IE#7 said she isn't amused by the restraining order.
She just wanted you to know that she missed you and hopes that you didn't take the flaming monkey effigy in the "wrong way".

mwb said...

IE: "You are opening a tab."

Yeah, dip shit. That's why I hit the new tab button.

Personally I still prefer Firefox over Safari. But I also like Shemp better than Curly, so YMMV...

Ed said...

Safari is cool. Way faster than the others, at least on a Mac. I've never used it on a Windoze machine, though. Occasionally I find a site that Safari won't load, so I use either Camino or Firefox for those.

Do you know how many Microsoft engineers it takes to screw in a light bulb?

None, they just declare darkness to be the industry standard.

URBAN BLONDE said...

Once you go Mac you'll never go back.

Trust me.


Blondie