Yo, Ohio Democratic party voters

Hey what's up you wacky Buckeye state Democratic party voters. You kids sure threw a monkey wrench into things didn't ya? Obama was on a roll baby and you guys slammed that door shut on him and the rest of us out here in the heartland. Can I ask you guys a question? Have you not been paying attention to the rest of the country? Most of the rest of us want a break from the past and we want to nominate Obama, the candidate by the way who is most likely to beat Bush McCain in November. How come you guys went the other way then? Were you just feeling peevish? Maybe you wanted to show everyone what rebels you are by going against the will of the majority of the party?

Or was it Hillary's "3 AM" ad? (For the benefit of my Canadian readers that reference is to an ad by Mrs. Clinton that asks if the phone rings in the White House at 3 AM and the caller says that there's been a terrorist attack don't you trust Hillary more than Obama to deal with it.) If it was that ad then I got to tell you something Democratic party primary voters, you guys are wussies. You must have been the same people who voted to keep Chimpy in office in 2004. You sissies are easily spooked. Here's a picture of a Chinese woman on a bike with a red scarf covering her face:Does that scare you? She may be planting an egg roll of mass destruction in your neighborhood! Or worse yet, she's on her way to work at the factory that used to be in your state, you remember, it was there before NAFTA and now it's gone to China!

Perhaps this upside down fish head scares you. It's got the arrows of evil on it! Look out, it's attacking Dayton!Maybe this illustration of a guy with a donkey head who is hanging out with some fairies makes you fearful. I bet some of you know which Shakespeare play this image comes from but you're too scared to mention it. Oooooooo, there's a picture of me holding a gun while surrounded by babes in bikinis. Frighten you? I'm sure it does because you cats are easily spooked.

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You know, you guys in Ohio used to be tough. You had a bad ass college football coach, Woody Hayes, and your part of one of the Great Lakes caught fire and most of you went on about your lives as if shit like that happened all the time but somewhere along the way you all turned into a bunch of nervous Nellie's who whimper at the sight of their own shadow. And you proved tonight yet again that you will do anything to cling to the past instead of moving forward to the future with a modicum of hope.

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After tonight's primary results came in from your state, once again I am overjoyed to say that I was born in Michigan. Wolverines rule!