Monday, March 17, 2008

Hey you kids get the hell off my lawn and turn down that damn rock and roll music this instant!

It's official.

I turned old today.

No, it's not my birthday, that comes in October. I went to get the mail out of the mail box and there was a letter from the AARP. They want me to join them.


They usually wait until you turn 50 to start pestering you but I guess they also pester people who get on Medicare early like me. I'm only 45 for odd sakes, did they have to send me one of these now? I'd threaten to kick their asses but I know damn well I couldn't because no matter how many of them I beat up there will always be more and they will wear me down eventually and then they'll kick the shit out of me with their walkers and canes and colostomy bags.

There no way in hell I'm joining but I did send them back a little something in the prepaid enevlope they sent. I sent them a card with my blog address on it.

I got to run now, I'm off to watch an episode of Matlock and maybe a Murder She Wrote while I eat my Cream of Wheat and pound down some Ensure. Now, where did I lay that Andy Williams CD?

16 comments:

Dr. Zaius said...

Matlock was expecially good today. Riveting, in fact!

Wandering Coyote said...

What is the AARP?

Crayons said...

I hate that! I asked my niece how old her teacher is, and she said, "Pretty old, like maybe 45." I blanched.

By the way, you forgot about ordering those attractive pants that don't ever wrinkle. Check the airline magazine.

Whiskeymarie said...

If it makes you feel better, I get "medical aid" and "overly comfortable clothing" catalogs all of the time.

Oh, and- I think you left the Andy Williams CD by the big jar of hard candy next to the Davenport.

Wandering Coyote said...

Ah. Just went to the AARP website.

Hm. Good article about cougars there.

Mnmom said...

I'm a year older than you and I haven't been invited! Old Bastards. But I am getting catalogs for large print cell phones and TV ears and chairs that will raise my fat lazy ass up mechanically instead of using my knees.
Hmmm, I've suddenly developed a craving for Brach's butterscotch discs and Fiber One bars.

Anonymous said...

You grow old, you grow old
You shall wear the bottoms
of your trousers rolled.

GETkristiLOVE said...

The best people are born in October... the 20th to be exact. Yay!

mad said...

What I'd like to know is HOW DO THEY KNOW?

Cup said...

I'm officially eligible for AARP membership one year and one week from today ...........

dguzman said...

Be sure to tape Murder She Wrote for me!

barbie2be said...

hey, i'm jealous... i will be 48 in november and i haven't heard from them yet. :(

mwb said...

I once saw a history of rock special focusing on the 1950s.

They showed a lot of lesser known folks who was the epitome of cool and rock in their youth.

But then they showed them know where they were the bermuda short wearing guys who complaining "that's not music"

You're on the express train to liking muzak. Just surrender to it Monkey!

Tengrain said...

Forget The Golden Girls, let's become The Brazen Bloggers!

Regards,

Tengrain

Anonymous said...

May want to reconsider. The travel discounts can be pretty sweet.

I was a member in my late twenties because I worked for them. I might be a bit partial, but a buck saved is a buck saved.

Just in case you're planning your summer outing to the coast...

Suzy said...

Just wait until the first issue of Modern Maturity shows up in your mailbox.