Question of the day

Today's question comes to us from the frozen north. MNMom has a health related question: As I age, I seem to be shrinking! I've lost 1/4 inch off my already hobbit-like 5'2" frame. How can this be stopped and how can I blame George W. Bush?Well MNMom, I'm afraid I have bad news. The only way to stop shrinking is to die and we don't want you to go this early in the game.

Don't despair though! There are advantages to being "hobbit like."

1. You get hit last when things fall from above because the falling objects usually hit the taller people.
2. You don't have to play basketball anymore.
3. You have a low center of gravity, which will come in handy if you ever get into a fight or if the earth spins off it's axis.
4. You can earn extra money at War on Christmas time by hiring yourself out as an elf.
5. If needs be, we can stuff you into a duffel bag and smuggle you places.
6. You can start a second career as a jockey.
7. You'll never hit your head on ceiling fans.
8. If there is ever a "tall tax" levied, you'll be exempt.

As for how you can blame Bush Jr. for your shrinkage, he did cut funds for the Department of Health and the NIH. Both of which could have given grant money to a mad scientist who might have worked on way to stimulate growth in women who are aging. So, yeah, it's that prick's fault you are now so tiny that you are often mistaken for a sexy little garden gnome.

Thanks for sending in that great question!

I still need a couple more queries to finsh out the month of questions. Send me your questions via email to monkeymuck(at)gmail(dot)com.