And now an important message from Fred Thompson

Hello America. I'm pretty tuckered out after running so hard in Iowa and New Hampshire. And yes, I'm kind of disappointed in my showing so far in this Presidential race. Sure I came in fourth or something in Iowa and I just got my ass handed to me by Ron Paul and Rudy Giuliani in New Hampshire. But you know what America? Even if that rube Huckabee beats me and if that fancy underpants wearing Mormon whips me again, I got something that they ain't got. I got a hot wife with big tits.
That's right America. That's mine. Them boobs she's got, they're mine too. And you know what? The biggest reason I should be President is because if I could close the deal and marry a hot young gal like this, imagine what I'd be able to do if I was President.Seriously, look at those things, they're busting out all over. Sometimes they exert their own gravitational pull. And I know the Post Office is going to give them things their own zip code soon.

You know what you won't get if I'm not elected President? You won't get to see those magnificent milk jugs plastered all over the news for four years. Hey, you think Ron Paul's wife has a pair like that? Heck America, I'm not sure if he's even married. And have you seen Huckabee's old lady? Pee yew, she's a big ol' horse. Cindy McCain is kind close to my wife in the looks department but I'd like to remind you that her baby making eggs are all gone now, but my wife still has her eggs. So that means she can still shoot out babies. Tell ya what America, if you vote for me I'll select a few hundred of you and ya'll can hop in the sack with my pretty lil wife and ya'll can maybe make a baby with her. Would any other candidate do that? Nope. Only me.

Wooo, wouldn't ya'll like to get her knocked up? Vote for me and I'll make it happen. Don't vote for me and I go away and I'll take her and her boobs with me. I mean it. I'm not playing here. Just think how much you'd miss gandering at her taa taa's.

Mmm, I love it when she raises her hand.
America, ya'll just need to stop asking me all them silly questions about foreign policy and domestic policy and ya'll needs to just focus on her cleavage.On her fun bags. On her doo dahs.
See that America? That picture right above? I made her wear that get up on our wedding day. If I could convince a gal to wear something that slutty on what's supposed to be the happiest day of her life, then just think what I'd do with them Soviets and Viet Cong.

So in closing America, let me just say....Oh sorry, I was sneaking a peek at her ninny pies. In closing just let me say that I'm still in this race and that if more horny guys voted for me because they wanted to see more of my wife then I'd be winning this thing by now. So ya'll just get on board and vote fer me and I'll tell Jeri to start wearing tube and halter tops. Or maybe I'll have her wear a couple of band aids and a pair of hot pants. Then ya'll would vote fer me fer sure.

I'll see ya out on the campaign trail!