1) Britney Spears 16 year old little sister Jamie Lynn's pregnancy has left their Mom's publisher red faced and embarrassed. Mrs. Spears book on, and I shit you not, Christian parenting has been delayed indefinitely. 
In related news Amy Winehouse's book on personal grooming and how to stay drug and alcohol free has also been delayed.
2) Mitt Romney's Mormon roots are showing and his magic underpants are growing! He's decided to marry again! There may be a bit of a problem with his new spouse though, there's been talk she used to be or still is a man. That's okay with Mitt though, he's been known to flip flop on things before!
In related news Amy Winehouse's book on personal grooming and how to stay drug and alcohol free has also been delayed.2) Mitt Romney's Mormon roots are showing and his magic underpants are growing! He's decided to marry again! There may be a bit of a problem with his new spouse though, there's been talk she used to be or still is a man. That's okay with Mitt though, he's been known to flip flop on things before!
4) Mike Huckabee is still intent on making sure everyone is celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ this year, and that includes all you damn dirty Jews, Papists, tree huggers, dirt worshippers, Methodists, Mormons, Tom Cruisers, Jedi Knights, atheists, agnostics, Zoroastrians, Rastafarian's, Native Americans, Yoga practitioners, and anyone else who is not a right wing evangelical Christian like him. He also wants to remind everybody that anyone caught celebrating anything other than the birth of Jesus this holiday season will be eaten or rounded up and imprisioned at Gitmo
5) Have no fear, Right wing Jesus is ever vigilant and He will stop any and all dudes from kissing each other during his birthday celebration. But to prove he's got that Christmas spirit, he's going to let hot young women who want to kiss one another go right ahead. 
6) And finally, it's about time but some Christians are going green:
19 comments:
Re #1: Wow. -shakes head- Just wow. She must have been so busy writing her book that she did not have time to practice Christian parenting.
Also, I was really looking forward to Amy Wino's book. Crap.
That's Mighty kind of J, there. He's lookin' more and more like Michael Landen from "Little House on the Prairie" every day now. I hope it's those two sisters who are kissin' now that they're not related, except in his holiness.
(It's ok, I already know I'm goin' to hell. In fact, I think I might be well on the way.)
Monkey how can I ever get caught up on my blog reading let alone writing when I am over here laughing my papist ass off????
You know, the only person who doesn't belong in your roundup is Amy Winehouse. I mean, at least she's honest. The rest are just hypocritical lying a-holes. (Okay, except for the gun-toting Jesus. I'm too afraid of him to mention that I don't believe in him).
I can't keep my Spears' straight. Are they both knocked up now?
I'm sorry, but my populist, merciful, agitating for the downtrodden, hard-drinking, two-fisted Jesus would snatch that rifle out of your rightwing Jesus' hands and club him with it.
I'm just saying.
Why Moma Spears would delay her Christian Parenting book is beyond me, as she could simply maintain that her kids only used the missionary position, thereby making the spawning all holy and such.
The first Mrs. Romney, who looks like she knows a thing or two about peroxide, seems entranced by the Coultergeist's roots. Either that, or those little snakes are starting to sprout out of Coulter's head again.
"Every body run!
Je-e-sus
has got a gun!"
Loving the Fat Huckabee pics--think of the great "news" we could get from our beloved MSM were he "elected" president!
"Today in Washington, President Fuckabee signed an endorsement deal with Jenny Craig. 1-800-99-Jenny!"
"Huckabee found eating several small wood-roasted children, says it's the Boy Scout way, and no matches used to start fire."
"'Hell yes, I'm fat,' President Huck was heard to say, 'but you should see our economy!'" (cue courtesy laughs from MSM)
The world is going to hell in a gucci clutch purse.
Did you hear about Kucinich's brother?
[url]http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/[/url]
Oops that didn't work.
I'm grateful for your humorous spin on all of this.
Poor Mrs. Spears. It's like that time that Ed Gein had to delay publication of his book, "Upholstery Made Easy." Come to think of it, that book never did come out!
Suzy tells me she sent you the Worst Album Covers of all time. The Hear & Now Singers would fit right in. By the way, I actually own #16 from the list she sent you. (The Louvin Brothers "Satan Is Real")
Missy-You're right.
Freida-Are you saying jesus was a mormon?
Fran-I'm here to make you laugh that ass off so I guess I succeeded.
Jess-As usual, you're right. I just used Wine-oh for a cheap laugh.
Bubs-I like your Jesus better than the one in the post. Yours sounds like fun.
Barb-"Holy spawn." You're killin' me here.
Kirby-I'm worried about the snake between her legs.
Mwb-And his aim is true.
Dguzman-It's fat Huckabee pics forever here!
Karen-Thanks for the heads up. I hate it for Dennis and his family.
Crayons-And I'm grateful for your beautiful blog.
Suzy-I'm a little bit troubled by your Ed Gein remark. I'll let you slide though because I like chicks who scare me a little. :)
Ed-That has got to be one great album.
Oh my god I didn't think it was possible but you found the craziest picture of Amy Winehouse I've ever seen! That woman gets crazier and crazier!
Romney is almost as bad as Fuckabee-with his pandering to the Christian Right-almost-Fuck's pretty bad!
Also, I was really looking forward to Amy Wino's book. Crap.
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