Saturday, December 1, 2007

Slaves to the Mistress of the Christmas cookies

Meet my friends Todd and Donna. Long time readers of this blog have met Todd before but for those of you who have not, he is the evil twin brother I never knew I had until I auditioned to be in the same improv comedy group as him. The woman with him in the above photo is his lovely wife Donna who will kill me when she finds out I put this picture of her on my blog.


As funny as Todd is, and let's be honest here, he's one funny dude, his wife is also funny. She is selectively funny mainly because when Todd and I get together we are obnoxious and we tend to dominate all the funny in the room. But to give you an example of how funny Donna is she called me on my birthday to wish me happy birthday and after doing so she said, "You wanna talk dirty?" I quickly said, "Sure!" She then said, "Ok, go right ahead." I nearly died laughing. Also a few years ago I sent out those cheesy kind of Christmas cards where you can stick your family photo in. I taped a picture me without a shirt on that Sparky had taken when we went to Rehobeth Beach in Delaware. The day Todd and Donna's card arrived she called me and she said, "I used to think that the worst thing I could get in the mail was an envelope full of anthrax, until I saw this picture of you that is." Good times, good times.


It'll be light blogging today for me because we'll be driving down to Knoxville to take part in Todd and Donna's annual Christmas Cookie Baking Party. Every year Donna invites many many people to come to their house and help her bake all her holiday cookies. And by all I mean she makes like 50 different kinds and she puts us all to work all day long making these cookies. She does however keep plenty of wine, beer, and spirits on hand to keep us pliable and too drunk to form a union, she's smart that way. Actually it's a nice way to connect with old friends and to meet new ones and the beatings Donna gives us when we don't work fast enough aren't too bad to endure. It's not like she's some sweatshop owning bitch like Kathy Lee Gifford after all.


Of course I'll be taking the camera and I'll post shots of the sugar induced madness later. I'll try not to eat too many cookies but sometimes I just can't help myself, after all I don't wear xxxL polo shirts for nothing kids.

9 comments:

Dr. Zaius said...

I am sorry that I will not be there to help make the cookies, but I would be glad to help eat them!

Anonymous said...

Have fun, Dr. Monkey. One should never feel remorse over an extra cookie.

Randal Graves said...

Now that's the way to bake Xmas cookies.

But I think you might have inadvertently given an idea to the anti-union corporates. I expect case after case of Old Milwaukee to conveniently find their way into the break room of every factory and stockroom in America.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I love Donna!

What a fantastic tradition and a great way to connect with friends. But damn you have to be organized to pull off something like that.

Have a great time, you guys, and have a shortbread type cookie for me.

Anonymous said...

That sounds like a lot of fun. I hope your group is easier to organize than my kid's playgroup. They're trying to organize the annual Christmas party. It's quite amusing, actually, everyone replying to everyone elses e-mails... no one knows what a blind cc is, no one knows how to forward things to one person without forwarding them to everyone else on a list. I keep waiting for someone to say something bitchy about someone else and forward that hot potato to everyone.

mwb said...

More Cookies for the Mistress, you Knave!

I do think that cookies would make an excellent system of barter in the future collapse of the dollar.

- mwb

Ed said...

Uggh. I don't even want to think about cookies right now. Last night I volunteered to staff a "Cookie Walk" as a benefit for my daughter's theater group. Piles and rows of cookies, bars and other sweets. I ate one and that was all I could handle. I can still smell them.

Have fun!

Freida Bee said...

Those nice people look high on cookies. Can I have some.

mad said...

Booze and cookies. Now that's what I call Christmas treats.