Screw Waldo, where's democracy?

One of the big lies they told us before they took us to the warwithoutendAmen was that one of the things that the wars on Iraq and Afghanistan would bring was a flowering and spreading of democracy through out the Middle East, which as we all know is one of the most repressive areas of the world. So let's send our pal Waldo over to the Middle East to see if that's working out as well as the rest of the things they've done.

You ready Waldo?

Heck yeah! I love freedom and democracy and I'm anxious to see if the neo-con's promises have worked out.

How are things going in Egypt? Democracy get there yet?

Ummm, no Dr. Monkey. It's still a repressive country politically and religious wise as well. Women are still treated like so much chattel and most opposition political party leaders are in jail or forbidden to organize. Mubarak, who is a great friend to the USA, won't allow all political parties to run in the rigged elections he runs.

Ok Waldo, what about our staunch ally Saudi Arabia?Whew, Dr. Monkey this place is hell hole of human rights violations and it's not a democracy at all. It's controlled by the greedy bastards that we call the House of Saud and by the right wing Islamist religious police. Women have no rights, can't vote, or freely mix and mingle where they please. The young people hate the strict controls the government and the religious police put on them and couple that with the extreme difference between the haves and the have nots, and you've got one explosive cauldron of anti Western hate and Islamist extremism boiling up. It's no wonder that Bin Laden and most all of the 9/11 hijackers came from this country, if I lived here all the time I'd hate Bush and America with a burning passion too. So, no, there's no democracy been spread over here at all.

Yo Waldo, what about our strong ally Jordan?

Nope. It's still controlled by one royal family and a bunch of foreign oil companies. No democracy here, lots of sand yes, but democracy no.

Waldo go check out Pakistan.

When it comes to democracy here it's no dice dude. This place is controlled tightly by a military junta that we help stay in power. Not only do they not have democracy now but their military overthrew the last democratically elected government. And you know what? There has never been a peaceful transition of power in Pakistan. And you know what else? They are probably harboring Al Qaeda operatives and Osama himself. They also hate India and will go to war with them over Kashmir. So, no democracy here, sorry.

Waldo, slide over to Iraq and let us know how things are going over there.

Holy shit Dr. Monkey, the country we invaded expressly to bring democracy to has not become a democracy. Yes, they had elections that were staged by our government but the government of Iraq has no power. They have no say in their own country, heck they told the US occupying force that they wanted Blackwater out and the US occupying force said, "Up yours, those crazy bastards are staying." We've killed over a million people, displaced millions, maimed hundreds of thousands, scarred for life generations of innocent people, bombed a nation to the stone age, for this? There's no democracy to be had here. The war has been a waste of lives, of time, and of money.

Waldo, cheer up man. Tell you what, I'm gonna send you to some places where democracy is alive and well and you can tell us about them, okay?

Umm, okay.

Despite what people may think of their current President, he was elected democratically in a free and fair election. His administration was almost overthrown by coup that had the blessing of Bush but thank goodness the people of Venezuela took to the streets and tossed that bunch of traitors out. There may be trouble here though since they do have a shitload of oil under them in Venezuela. I'd keep my eyes peeled for any signs of invasion by Bush/Cheney.

Democracy is alive and well here. They just elected Daniel Ortega as their President. Remember him? He was one of those Sandinista's that Reagan hated so much. You remember the Sandinstas don't you? They were the ones who overthrew their US backed oppressor Antonio Samoza, who incidentally died in a hail of gunfire in Paraguay after he was deposed. There's not much oil here so I doubt Bush cares much about Nicaragua.

Haiti recently had a Presidential election and as usual the Bush backed interests in that small impoverished country almost screwed the people yet again. But the brave people of Haiti found evidence of election fraud when the Bush backed greedy business owners and army tried to steal the election. It's a constant battle between the corporate interests and the democracy loving working classes of Haiti.

Waldo, I'm sorry but you have to go back to the Middle East one last time. I need you to go to the only country in the Middle East that has a democratically elected government.

Holy crap Dr. Monkey, you mean to tell me Iran is the only country outside of Israel that has a democratically elected government?

Yep. And just like over here most of the voters in Iran think their President is an idiot who should be out of office as soon as possible. They cringe when they hear him make outrageous statements like Bush does. They wish they had a more peace loving President and so do most Americans.

Wow, I hope we don't go to war with the only real functioning democracy in the Middle East.

Well Waldo, you've seen what Bush does to democracies he doesn't like, he screws them and tries to overthrow them like he did to Saddam and Iraq.

You know what? I'm gonna go hide where no one can find my ass.

See ya!