Friday, October 26, 2007

Good news for all you Christians

Hey all you Christians, okay you Jews can take heart too but since Rick Santorum is such a good Christian this news is directed mainly at his fellow Jesus lovers, it turns out that hundreds of years of Christian practice is now wrong and out dated! It turns out, according to that theological giant Rick Santorum anyway, that you no longer have to live your faith through the week. You guys can just go worship on Sunday and the rest of the week your off on your own to do whatever you please! Your religion is only for Sunday and not the rest of the week!
"What? You mean Daddy is going to be home more now that he got his ass whipped in the PA Senate race? Waaaaaahhhhhh!"
*******
How do I come by this good news for you modern Christians? Well, it's simple really. During this new holy week for Reich wing conservatives, or as you and I know it, Islammo-Fascism week, Ricky boy has finally come out and said just what his problem with Islam is, he says it's not a religion that you just practice on a Sunday and that it's a religion that it's adherents must live their lives around. He says it's not just something to do on a Sunday, presumably like his brand of Christianity, and that it's a violent religion that seeks to gain new members by proselytizing and by sometimes violent means.
"Holy crap, I'm gonna have to start spending quality time with the man people around this country hate?"
*******
I'm not sure about you but I'm pretty floored by all those revelations from the Rickster. I seem to recall a certain religion that has a long history of proselytizing and forcing people to convert at the point of a sword or a gun and that has had no problem with using many of the same tactics and practices that Muslims have used. I seem to recall a faith that demands that everyone in the world bow down to it and forsake all others, just like Islam calls for. I could be wrong but maybe this is a case of God's kettle calling Jesus's pot black.


"You'd cry too if your father said such stupid things."

Correct me if I'm wrong here but aren't good Christians supposed to go forth every Sunday from their churches and do good works and spread the gospel of Jesus Christ? And are they not commanded to live a Christlike life all week long and put their faith to work in their homes, neighborhoods, and communities? Well, yeah, and you know what? That's the same things Muslims are commanded to do by their holy book. But according to Santorum it's a bad thing when Muslims do it because they're not Jesus lovers like him. So once again it's only Christians who are allowed to practice their religion and to hell with the rest of you non Jesus lovers. Well except for maybe the Jews, and the sacred underwear clad Mormons, and maybe the Sikhs, and okay you Buddhists can practice your religion too but keep it down, and you Hindus can do what you like as long as you don't steal any of the good Christians away from Jesus.

So that leaves who not able to freely practice their religion? Oh yeah , now I remember, it's the dark skinned Muslims who want to kill all of us freedom loving god fearing Jesus humping white folks.

You know what? Why anyone takes anything this idiot says seriously is beyond me. Never forget he's the guy who says it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it only takes a man and a woman who are married in the eyes of his god and of course that wife had better not work, no sir, she'd better stay home and raise those kids according to the Bible that he believes in. And this was the guy who said that homosexuality leads inevitably to bestiality. And he also said that if he got beat in the PA Senate race then all hell would break lose and the terrorists would win and they'd come over here and impregnate his creepy crying daughter, okay maybe I'm stretching it a bit on that last point but you get the idea. Thank goodness the fine people of PA had the right idea and that they voted his ass out of office. Unfortunately for the rest of us now this asshat has plenty of time to be the face of hatred in this idiotic and intellectually bankrupt affair called Islammo-Fascism week. Hang on I just realized that if anyone would recognize a fellow fascist it would be Ricky and his BFF Norman Podhoretz because those Reich wingers can smell their fellow travelers a mile off.

10 comments:

Splotchy said...

Nice post!

Santorum certainly doesn't have a shortage of ill-informed, bigoted things to say.

I feel sorry for the girl (his daughter?).

She looks like she really whacked her hand on the podium. Looks like it smarts.

Randal Graves said...

YOU try practicing Jesus-ery Monday through Saturday when you have a full agenda of hunting down man-on-dog action, screwing the American taxpayer and making children cry, not to mention his new column. He's a busy, busy man.

Missy said...

That poor girls outfit reminds me of Chelsea Clinton back in the day.

The doll is just terrifying.

Becca said...

Wow that child looks so disturbed.

And it hurts my head that ...to use your phrase...asshats like this aren't laughed off the podium and sent to somewhere dull like Utah to never be seen or heard again.

Joe said...

What is truly disturbing about this series of pictures is Santorum's kid, freaking out while holding her "Kit" doll and wearing her matching American Girls outfit. It just seems so sad. I mean, really, we can laugh, but look at that girl--she's devastated. And her perfect little Aryan doll just stares straight ahead, unperturbed by her mistress' wailing.

Distributorcap said...

the world is a better place with no tricky ricky in the senate

but the fact he brought his dead fetus home when his wife miscarried...........

this man is seriously seriously deranged

Fran said...

D-cap is right. That story is horrific and so true.

Anyway, he is a feckin' idiot and a BAD Catholic. Do you hear me, he is a stain upon the already stained church.

God I loathe him.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Splotchy-Thanks.

Randal-You're right. I need a nap just thinking about all that stuff he does.

Missy-It's alive!

Becca-If they sent him to Utah he might find his way to Sundance and we can't have that.

Bubs-That kid is terrifying and yet if he is going to use her for a prop then I'm gonna use her for a laugh.

Dcap and Fran-You both are so right. Bad Senator is a bad Catholic.

Snad said...

Santorum's son has the expression of one who is grooming for a night of axe murdering his family. I'm officially creeped out for Hallowe'en.

SamuraiFrog said...

Wow, his kids all look like the unhappiest people on the planet. Even the wife looks scared of him. I'm sorry, but only a creepy asshole trots out his family to be the unwilling participants in his assholery.