I am a genius

I apologize for the negative tone of some of my recent posts. Unless I'm ranting about the rich white ass hats in power then I honestly don't want to be so negative. So in an effort to change that I now present three short stories about me that illustrate why I am such a genius.

1) I had digital cable for almost a year before I discovered all the music channels and at first I thought I was getting them free by mistake.

2) My girlfriend once accused me of not being open minded. I turned to her in a huff and I said, "I am open minded. In fact, I refuse to believe that I'm not open minded."

3) We bought a gas grill once and on the box it said that one could assemble the grill in three easy steps. I began to assemble it and my girlfriend left me alone while I put it together. About an hour later she came outside to check on me. I still had not gotten the grill together and I was sweating, cursing, huffing, puffing, and fuming. She shook her head and she said, "Which of the three easy steps are you stuck on?" She watched me struggle for a moment with the grill and then she clamly took the part out of my hand and she turned it right side up. After she did that I put the grill together in 2 minutes.

Consider yourself lucky you don't live with me and my genius.