Saturday, August 18, 2007

A Dr. Monkey Movie Review Twofer

Some of you may be asking why the League of Mullets is not doing this movie review twofer and the reason is simple, the lads with bad hairdos are on vacation. They've been working hard all summer and they begged me to let them have some time off to attend the Camel Toe Cavalcade Consortium in Covington, Washington. Some of you may know Covington, Washington already as it's reputation of being the pimple on the ass that is Washington state preceeds it. Besides enjoying all the Camel Toe while in Covington the boys will enjoy shopping at the brand new Wal-Mart that they built in that incest ridden hamlet. They'll also stop by at the new Applebee's or as most people in Washington state call it, "The best place to eat ever. And we mean that. Ever."
So since I have lots of time on my hands being in quarantine in Wisconsin and all I decided to review these movies myself.


First up is a newish movie called The Ice Harvest.

This is a movie about shady/bad people doing bad things to one another. It was directed by Harold Ramis and while billed as a comedy it really plays out like a drama, although I guess you could call it a black comedy.

I enjoyed this film because I like films about con men and criminals and I usually like most of the folks who are in this picture. I liked John Cusak in it, and I also liked Billy Bob Thornton. The female lead, Connie Nielson, was adequate but she never really was anything more than a plot mover for me. I didn't buy her as the gritty femme fatale.

I had a few problems with this picture. First of all it takes place in Wichita Falls, KS on Christmas Eve, but for a bigish city like that it seems strangely empty except for the main characters in the film. Also you could see things coming a mile away, everything was telegraphed. Finally I had problems with Oliver Platt. He went to the Bombast School of Acting and he shows it in every film he does. I find him to be a terrible nuisance in films and I am begging casting directors to only cast him in films I will never see, like any flick with that horsemouthed Julia Roberts and anything starring Adam Sandler.

If you have 88 minutes you want to kill then watch this movie if you can stand Oliver Platt.

Next up is a film I saw when it first came out in the theatres, A Rage In Harlem.This is another film about bad people, with the exception of Forrest Whittaker's character, doing bad things to one another in order to get money and a chest full of gold. It's a period piece directed by character actor Bill Dukes.

I remember seeing this film in an empty movie theatre in Roanoke, VA and thinking to myself, "Why are there not more people here? This is a good movie." And when I watched it again in my little quarantine cell tonight it still stands up as a good gangster film. The only reason I can see why more people did not see this was because the studio buried it in limited release or the vast majority of the American movie going public is racist or they hate the smokin' hot Robin Givens.

This is a fun little movie. It zips along with lots of action and plenty of sex appeal provided by the aforementioned Ms. Robin "Oh what a booty!" Givens. She is totally believable as the scheming vamp who plays all the men against each other. Her seduction scenes with Forrest Whittaker are wildly sexy and funny all at once.The gal can act people. And she oozes sexiness. Raw animal sexiness that few besides her have ever exuded. Sure, she may have been playing herself, after all she did take Iron Mike Tyson for all she could get when they divorced but what woman wouldn't deserve all that money for letting that brute rut on her like a wild boar, but she plays herself well.


This was clearly Robin's movie, she had top billing, and she walks, no, she saunters off, no, she runs off like a crazy jungle cat in heat with it and she makes it her own.

Along with Ms. Givens performance, others turning in good acting jobs were Forrest Whittaker, Gregory Hines, Danny Glover, and as one half of a team of bumbling trigger happy black cops, stand up comedian George Wallace.

This movie is destined to be a film that lays in wait for someone to discover it. And when they do discover it they'll find that it's a damn good film that got the short shrift by the studio and the movie going public. My bottom line is if you watch it, you'll love it.

And now because I can, I'm giving you one more picture of that vixen Robin Givens.

2 comments:

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Somebody give that woman a bigger paycheque so she can afford to buy some tops!

You had me with John Cussack, though.

Splotchy said...

I agree totally with you regarding Oliver Platt.

He is to acting what Joel Schumacher is to directing.