Tuesday, June 5, 2007

See George and Hillary it's not so hard

Our Idiot in Chief refuses to ever admit he made a mistake about anything and one of his chief rivals for his job in 2008 refuses to admit her vote to go to war was a mistake. It occurred to us recently that maybe they view admitting mistakes as some form of weakness. Well, to show them how wrong they are and that it is okay to admit when one makes a mistake, we offer apologies for the following mistakes that we have made in the past.

We apologize:

1. For voting for Ralph Nader in 2000. We will regret this vote til the day we die. We assumed that our fellow countrymen and women were not as dumb as we were and would vote for Gore and that there was no way he would lose without our vote. We were mistaken and we're sorry about that America.

2. For wearing so many Hawaiian shirts to business meetings back when we were a wage slave. Sure they scream "I'm a fun dude, look at my cool fun shirt," but when you wear them to business meetings like we used to do then they scream, "Hey, look at the pathetic fat guy, man does he need attention or what?"



3. For driving too fast most of the time and for riding all up on your ass America. Sometimes we've not been the most courteous of drivers and we're sorry about that. We'll try to do better.

4. For going to see First Blood starring Sly Stallone so many times when it first came out. If we had known then that he would go on to make those wretched sequels and other movies like Stop or My Mom Will Shoot, Rhinestone, and Over The Top then we would have never gone back to see First Blood those other 5 times. It was a troubling time for us personally, not that that excuses our behavior.
5. For being rude to so many cashiers and check out clerks. We're trying to do better now, we promise.

6. For not betting big money on the 49ers way back when they played against the Bengals in the Superbowl. Man, when we think about how everybody was backing the Bengals, we could have cleaned up by betting on the 49ers.

7. For watching The A Team so damn much back when it was on.
8. For not posting more pictures of Salma Hayek. We think she's a great looking, hard working American from another American country and we hope one day to get her picture on the twenty dollar bill.
And finally,

9. For not starting our blog sooner. If we had known how much fun it was making fun of people in "power" in Washington DC and around the world, hell we would have done it much sooner. But like the old saying goes, "Better late than never." And George, that only applies to good things like us starting our blog or say, having a Tantric orgasm, and not to things like starting wars and occupying countries in the Middle East and shit.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Forgivable
(1) The Sylvester Stallone movies. A youthful indescretion.
(2) The lack of Salma Hayek pictures. You've also had to pay homage to Gina Bellman. Understood.
(3) For not starting your blog sooner. You were too busy having tantric sex to write.
(4) Watching the A Team. We'll assume you were consuming large quantities of cheap beer in the process.
(5) The Hawaiian shirts. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
(6) Not betting against the Bengals. Your loss. It hurt no one but you.
(7) Being rude to cashiers - continuing to make an effort to be kind is a good thing.
(8) Tailgating and other bad driving habits - who hasn't? But stay off my ass, will you!

But voting for Nader in 2000?????

Well, what can one say? Oh, I know.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

P.S. Everytime I hear someone say "Gore couldn't even carry his home state of Tennessee" I shall curse your monkey.

Just a little.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I deserve your scorn Madame D Cup and I will bear it. I after all deserve it.

Evil Spock said...

Evil Spock voted for Nader too.

Oh, about those Hawaiian shirts . . .

Oh, and Over the Top? Cinematic gold!

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Thanks for the clip about the shirts evil one. Hmmmm, "Watership Down" and "Over the Top"? I may have to reconsider who I'm voting for in 2012.

SamuraiFrog said...

More Salma Hayek pictures has been shown to lengthen and enhance the span of one's life. I ain't against it.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

If you are correct Master Frog, then I shall be extending everyone's life for the next few days.