Interview with Mitt Romney

After interviewing six of these damn Republican candidates for President I needed a break so I asked Reid Fleming the world's toughest milkman to interview Mitt Romney for me. After he kicked my ass for asking him, he agreed. We now present that interview:
Reid: Okay you damn Mormon, listen up. You are gonna answer my questions, not give me any shit, or I will kick your Nancy boy ass, do you understand me?
Romney: Sure.
Reid: Good. So, you're a Mormon huh. What's up with that, eh?
Romney: It's no different than being a Methodist...
Reid: Bush is a Methodist.
Romney: So am I!
Reid: You're a Mormon.
Romney: Of course I am.
Reid: Then why'd you claim to be a Methodist?
Romney: Because I am. I have always been a Methodist.
Reid: You're about to piss me off.
Romney: Sorry, we Mormons do not like pissing off milkmen.
Reid: Too late. I'm gonna give you a black eye now.

Romney: Ouch.

Reid: I warned you.

Romney: Yes, you did not. I remember you not warning me. It was a defining moment in my life.

Reid: You want another one? Grrrrr.

Romney: Yes, I do not want another one. I have always not wanted another one.

Reid: Then answer my questions properly you slick haired boob.

Romney: Yes sir.

Reid: I dig your wife.

Romney: Thanks. She's hot.

Reid: Dr. Monkey's 11 1/2 readers want to know how you two Mormons get it on when you make the beast with two backs. Tell them in 10 words or less.

Mrs. Romney: That's private.

Romney: Oh, honey, let's share.

Mrs. Romney: (Blushing) Well if you think it's best Mitt honey bunny sugar wooger.

Reid: Come on, start talking or you get another shiner Mitty boy.

Romney: Well, I take the biggest thing...

Reid: You're up to six words already dumb ass.
Romney: ...then me go in.

Mrs. Romney: I am so embarrassed.

Reid: It's okay lady. Calm down. Have a Coke or a smoke or something and relax.

Romney: We do it alot. We're Mormons after all. It's part of our church doctrine that we have a shit load of kids. Would you like to meet some of brood?

Reid: I have no choice do I?

Mrs. Romney: Kids! Come in here and meet the milkman.

Romney: I'll introduce them. They're kind of shy.

Romney: That's Suzie, Billy, Connie, Carlos, Sheila, Biff, Sandy, Kit, Donald, Mitt Jr., Gordon, Todd, Paul, Stevie, Cooter, Jazzbo, Ming Ha, Freckles, JuJu Bee, Pontiac, Tree Trunk, Klondike Mary, Paula, Dr. Pepper, Stinky, Sleepy Slim, Granny Gee, Oblong, Waistcoat, Rooster, A-Rod, Hot Tuna, and Captain Kirk.

Reid: Holy crap.

Romney: Wait there's more.

Mrs. Romney: Ray Ray, Dorito, Shabeela, Nostradomus, Cosa Nostra, Tupac, Biggie, Lil' Killa, Ben Gay, Gum Drop, Becky Boo, Crunkin' Like a Mofro, Colt 45, Tad, Sean, EZ Wider, Tech 9, and Worthington Jay McNasty.

Romney: And don't forget these two little bundles of joy honey.
Mrs. Romney: Oh yes! The twins, Gunnar and Brunhilda. They fell out on the way over.

Reid: Who's the babe holding them?

Romney: She's our Au Pair Yvonne. She's French.

Reid: I really dig her. I'm ending this interview now so I can abscond with her.

Romney: No you better not. She needs to stay around and help the wife.

Reid: Up yours, she's leaving with me.

Romney: Please, don't take her and defile her.

Reid: Zip it. Come on babe, we're getting the hell out of here and we're gonna get drunk 'n' have some fun. Give me the girl and a pack of matches.

Romney: No.....

Reid: Shut up you.

Romney: No take my wife instead. Leave me the young woman...

Reid:

Reid: (as he helps Yvonne into his souped up milk truck) No wonder Dr. Monkey hates doing these things, those Republicans are idiots.

Yvonne: Zee Democrats are not, how you say, mooch better.

Reid: Yer right sugar, now hand me that bottle of Scotch and let's party!!!!!!!!!!!!!