Showing posts with label westerns. Show all posts
Showing posts with label westerns. Show all posts

Saturday, October 12, 2013

A Monkey Movie Report

It had been a while since I watched a really bad movie but after seeing this turkey
I'm good to go.

You'd think from the poster and the title that this film would be about the Sapphic side of the old west but if you did think that, you'd be dead wrong partner.

The film starts off with a scene of two young people, a brother and his younger sister, burying their parents, who I'm sure died of mortification over how their children turned out.  Once the old folks are in the ground the siblings mope around and claim they'll be there for one another forever and they give each other 'sexy' looks.  They go about their lives doing chores, the brother chops wood and uses a pitchfork to move hay a foot and a half from where ever it started out.  The sister mopes around and does a bit of cooking and mopily flirts with her brother.  Their attraction to one another builds and as soon as big brother spies his naked sister in the creek, that settles it, they're gonna fuck.  But not before they mope around some more and swear they're never gonna leave one another.

Finally, after they both masturbate while thinking of the other, they get it on.  And oddly enough for their first time, and most every time after that, they have intercourse despite the fact that big brother is still wearing his pants.  They get on in her bed, on a blanket in the barn, on the kitchen floor, and in the creek.  They can't stop doing it.  They shag so much in fact that they neglect their chores and the farm falls into disrepair.

The guilt of letting the farm slide is too much for big brother, he doesn't seem too guilty over the fact that he's dipping his wick in his sister's candle though.  His solution to his problem is to go into town and find him another woman so he can get his sexy sister out of his head and bed.  So he rides the three miles into town and he hooks up with the first saloon hooker he sees.  He tells her that his sister is back home all alone and upon hearing that news, an eavesdropping cowboy rides out to see sister.  Brother nails the hooker, this time at least he has the courtesy to take off his pants and the cowboy at the farm rapes the sister after she feeds him supper.

The next day big brother goes home to find sis naked and crying on her bed.  She tells him what happened and big bro stomps off to town to avenge his sister.  While bro is in town the hooker rides out to see his sister.  Big brother gets into a gun fight with the raping cowboy and he gets killed and while that is going down, his sister and the hooker are going down on each other because as the hooker tells the sister, sometimes it takes a woman to help another woman who's been traumatized by rape to feel better by having sex with her.

Cut to the brother being buried as sis and the hooker stand stoically by the graveside.  Then fade to black.  And that's the film.  And it's all dreadfully bad.  It's amateurish and hard to watch because the actors have no charisma and they deliver their lines like they all just woke up from a coma.

Don't get me wrong though, the woman who played the sister, Sharon Matt, is very easy on the eyes and her best scenes are when she's naked.  And she's naked quite a bit in this film.  She also goes commando through out it too.

But the bottom line is this is a bad bad bad movie.  It's not in the 'so bad it's kind of good' category either.  It's just bad.  The sex scenes are the least sexy in the world, despite the hotness of Ms. Matt.  The acting is atrocious and the sets are laughable.  It's billed as an erotic western but it's hardly erotic and it's just barely a western.  It's just bad.

Friday, April 30, 2010

More reviews you can choose to use

The Proposition is an Australian western. It's a gritty, violent, at times absorbing film.

The movie centers around Guy Pearce, who plays the middle brother in a family of outlaws, and the man who is tasked with bringing him and his brother to justice, Ray Winstone, as the local police captain. Winstone captures Pearce and his younger brother in a shoot out and he makes him a deal, go kill your older brother (Danny Huston) and I'll pardon you and your younger brother. Off Pearce goes and once he finds his older brother things go down hill for all concerned pretty quickly.

This film, written and scored by Nick Cave, is a realistic gritty dirty western. It's the kind of western that Hollywood made for about 5 minutes back in the mid '70's but had to stop because they hated filming people with so much dirt and grime on them. It's the kind of western that I really like, it's full of action and interesting characters who aren't scrubbed clean when they should be filthy and hairy.

Standout performances littler this movie like diapers and beer cans litter yards in trailer parks. Winstone and Pearce are especially good. I recommend this one but be warned, there's violence and some of it is of a sexual nature.

This CD is a kick ass blend of dance music and rock 'n' roll. The sound of this band leans heavily on drum machines and other electronic devices but when coupled with their often cheeky lyrics and the cool sounding voices of the singers, it all works. I really dig it. I love the art they used in it as well.

And finally I just finished this book:
It's a great read and a very distinctive take on modern China by a westerner who has lived in China off and on for many years.
Ms. Dewoskin found herself not only working for an American PR company in Beijing for a boss who refused to speak or learn Chinese language and customs, she managed to end up starring on a Chinese night time soap opera. Her tale of how she managed to juggle those two jobs, her Chinese friends, the Chinese language (both written and spoken), other expats, and daily life in China bowled me over. I'm impressed by any westerner who lives and thrives in China, a country so radically different than our own, and the fact that did so while she was a young single attractive woman on her own was amazing to me as well. I applaud her courage and the way she stuck to her principles while living and working in Beijing.

I highly recommend this travel essay book. And I hope Ms. Dewoskin writes more about her other adventures in China soon.