It's late Sunday night so that means it's time to take a look into the past of yours truly.
From a very young age I knew I was going to be one of two things when I grew up. I was either going to play second base for the Detroit Tigers or I was going to be a professional actor. Since my baseball career died on the vine in high school when I found out I could not hit worth a damn or field worth a flip, I decided to focus my energy on acting instead. From a very young age I was good at doing accents, impressions, and making people laugh so acting seemed to be to be the way to go to earn a living. I remember very clearly watching kids my age in movies and on TV and thinking, "I could do that part better than they do." Only time would tell if I ever would get the chance, but I had my dream.
It so happened that in the mid 70's I was living in the place least likely to ever see that dream come true, Lee County, VA. There was no outlet for anyone to try their acting skills, or lack thereof, except for what was known as 'Senior Play.' Senior play was just what it sounded like, those seniors in my high school who were interested could audition for a role in a play that was actually produced by the end of the year. It was usually some shitty broad comedy that was picked by our campy, though not out of the closet, history teacher.
I auditioned and I was sure I'd get the lead because I was, at least in my mind anyway, damn good. I ended up getting a small supporting role. I was hurt but not too badly. I decided I show them by golly.
And I did. I did a damn fine job and I got a huge round of applause at the end of the show. I was hooked and I wanted more.
But then for some reason, I guess I just wanted to get the hell out of Lee County and away from my crazy family, I signed up for a 6 yr hitch in the Air Force. As luck would have it though I had an accident and cut my arm badly. After the accident I did not have 100% use of my left hand they would not take me in the Air Force. So I went to college instead.
I ended up in a small liberal arts college in east Tennessee that had a great theatre professor by the name of Penny Mattice. After pretty much staying stoned and drunk my whole freshman year I came back my sophomore year ready to buckle down and study. I also got up the nerve to audition for the fall play, they did a straight play in the fall and a musical in the spring. The fall play that year was
Midsummer Night's Dream and I was over the moon when I got cast as Tom Snout. It was a small part but hell I was doing Shakespeare!
Since my alma mater did not have a theatre on campus at that time we had to do our shows off campus. In those days the world famous Barter Theatre in Abingdon, VA closed for the winter and they stopped doing shows in early November. They would let us go in and do three shows at the end of November. I was always in awe of doing shows there because so many famous actors had worked there before.
That first college production I was in was a hit. I was in
Our Town the next year and
Twelfth Night the next.
Not content to just do the straight plays in college I also did the musicals as well. And that was some feat considering that I cannot sing worth a damn. The first musical I did it did not matter that I could not sing because my character was so stupid no one expected him to sing well. That character was Goat and the musical was
Robber Bridegroom.
It was during this show that I finally actually knew for sure that I had good comic timing and that I could hold an audience in the palm of my hand. The next year we did
Little Mary Sunshine and I got to speak my lyrics some what in time with the music and that's how I got around singing that time. In my last year I was stage manager of the musical.
After college I went to work at a grade z dinner theatre that used to be open in this area but has since closed. I did some work I was proud of in mostly crap shows. Most of the shows were typical dinner theatre fare, broad brainless comedies or feel good family musicals. But there was one show I did there that I was very proud of and still am proud of to this day and that is
The Foreigner.
I played the villain of the show Owen Musser and I was ugly evil good. I based that character on every red neck asshole I knew and some nights the audience would gasp at my evilness and they'd cheer loudly when I met my ignominious end each night.
But all those hours of work for little or no pay got to me and I quit that dinner theatre and I got a real job. But I soon grew sick of not performing and I was sick of living in the Tri Cities so I moved to Roanoke, VA. I went there to find better employment prospects and to try my hand at stand up comedy, this was during the stand up boom of the late 80's. After sucking at telling stupid jokes in front of plenty of these:
I gave up stand up. I sucked at it. If the audience did not laugh at every one of my jokes I'd attack them and antagonize them. I was clearly not suited to being onstage by myself. Not too long after I gave up stand up I got laid off, lost my great apartment, and moved back to the Tri Cities.
I found myself drifting back into that same dinner theatre and doing shows there again. This time it was not so bad because I soon met the woman who would become my long time, or long suffering depending on how you look at it, girlfriend.
I also during this time made my national television debut. I was an extra in a segment of
America's Most Wanted. I played a doctor walking down the hall and I got paid $50 bucks for doing it. Also during that time I had a quite substantial supporting role in a student film, my gf was also in the movie but we were not hooked up at that time. The film went nowhere because the male lead stunk and the film looked like what it was, a student film filled with young eager but not great actors.
Once again acting did not pay the bills so I got a job at a truck tire dealership and about 7 months into working for them they transferred me to Knoxville TN. Once I was in Knoxville and settled into the job I auditioned for a play at a small black box 50 seat theatre called Theatre Central. The play was
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and I was ecstatic to be cast in it. I played one of the mental patients, I based my character on my Dad who suffered with mental illness, and the show was damn good. I remain proud of the work I did in that show and of the whole show in general.
It was during the run of this show that I made friends with people who I remain close to today. It was there that I met my great friends Allan H., Charley B., Jim C., Peyton W., and Margy R..
I was fortunate enough to be cast in more shows at Theatre Central, shows such as
The Mousetrap,
A Night at the Ritz, and
It Runs in the Family.
During my time in Knoxville I also began doing improv comedy. I took to it right off. I liked it better than doing straight plays or musicals because there were no lines to memorize and no blocking to remember. Each improv show was different every night and while some nights the show might suck hairy balls, the nights when we hit more than made up for it.
I also got cast in Box of Moonlight while I lived in Knoxville. The biggest things I took from that experience was that making movies is boring as hell, that John Turturro is an intense actor, and that Tom DeCillo, the writer director, was a hell of a nice guy. He always made sure to chat with us extras and he made sure we all got plenty to eat and to drink when it was meal time. Tom was quite the mensch.
After suffering through many layoffs while living in Knoxville I finally found a job that offered me steady income and plenty of freedom to do improv once a week. Even after I moved back to Johnson City to live with my gf in the condo she bought I continued to do improv although I gave up on the acting because I got sick of memorizing lines and doing the same role over and over again every night.
Alas my heart attack a few years stopped me from doing more improv and sometimes I miss it. But when I stop and think about all the plays, and the two movies, and the TV appearance I did, I consider myself lucky to have been able to do all that. While I did not end up a household name and a movie star, I did get to follow my dream and I got to entertain more people than I ever imagined.
These days I use blogging to give myself that rush that I used to get performing. With blogging I still get to entertain, provoke, and make people laugh. And I get feedback through the comments section, although it doesn't give me the same feeling as applause did, all in all though, I'll damn glad to be where I am today.
7) Write a blog that pisses off unhinged right wing corporate apologists.
