These truths should be self evident

• You can fire as many workers as you like, you can ship all those jobs over seas, you can cut the benefits of the few workers you have left, but in the end, if we can't buy your products because we're laid off, fired, had our jobs outsourced, and our benefits and pay cut, then you've only shot yourself in the foot with all those things you did to please Wall Street.
• If the cops start beating 'Occupy Wall Street' protesters after getting millions of dollars from a big Wall Street bank, then people are going to connect the two and assume the NYPD now works for Wall Street and not for the average working stiff.
• If you want to ruin a country's economy then you should start two wars abroad and cut taxes on the wealthiest people and corporations at home. If you don't want to do that...oh wait, it's too late. Bush fucked us and didn't even kiss us first.
• If you're selling something, like oh, let's say a health care overhaul or a jobs bill, then you don't start where you want to end up. You start out by asking for the moon and then negotiate down from there.
• If they're going to call you a big government socialist, then you should grow a pair of balls and start governing like one. We've needed FDR and Obama has given us Herbert Hoover.

Hey boy, who are you calling lazy?

I'm sure you saw where one of Florida's US Senators said that we're all lazy because of Social Security and Medicare. He claims that people used to work harder and take better care of one another knowing that they had to provide for their own retirement. Crazy huh. Yeah, I thought so too.

First of all, since we all pay into the Social security system through our payroll taxes we are providing for our retirement. The money in the Social Security coffers doesn't magically appear, it comes from the hard work of millions of Americans. Although millions of other Americans don't pay in their fair share since Social Security taxes are only paid on the first (roughly) $106,000 of income, that means that people making over that amount don't pay any Social Security taxes on anything over the first $106,000. Which means that people making $50,000 a year pay a higher percentage of their income in Social security taxes than someone making $500,000 a year. Crazy huh. Yeah, I thought so too.

Secondly, I'm not lazy and neither are the hundreds of other millions of working class Americans who either paid into the system or are still paying into the system. I started working and paying Social Security taxes when I was 13. And I worked full time, with the exception of a few layoffs in the mid 1990's ever since, until I had my heart attack in 2004. I worked summers during high school, I work odd jobs during my college years, and when I left college in 1985, I went right to work, I didn't go onto grad school. Hell, I didn't want to go to grad school, I wanted to get out in the world and work. And work I did.

I worked a series of shit jobs that were physically and mentally demanding. I worked my way up through a convenience store system to become manager. I worked in a dinner theatre for tips. When I lived in Roanoke I worked two jobs to pay the bills and keep a roof over my head. I worked a a cement pipe factory doing some of the hardest work I have ever done in my life. When I hit my 30's I finally had a series of better paying jobs but I still worked my ass off. When I was in the truck tire business I not only had to handle the office end of the job, I had to stack and load truck tires that weighed over 200 lbs each. I would go home some days so weak and tired that I could barely lift my arms, but I kept at it. When I went into sales even though I wasn't doing as physically demanding a job I was still working hard. If you ever had to demonstrate a product or sell a disinterested person advertising or a cancer insurance policy, you know what I mean, who ever said sales was easy was a fucking liar.

I worked hard. Just like teachers, cops, firemen, waitresses, cooks, janitors, librarians, and other working class people. And just like them I paid my Social Security taxes in to the system. I paid them gladly at times and at others, when I was broke, I grumbled when I paid them. My money kept other going and deep down I was glad to help.

Then in 2004 I had a massive heart attack and once my cardiologist said that a return to work wasn't in the cards for me, I applied for Social Security Disability (SSDI). It took me over a year to get it and I had to hire an attorney to help me get what I had coming to me, which is a fucking travesty if you ask me. Some people who get SSDI at a youngish age say they feel guilty about getting it but not me. After all, I had paid into the system for over 30 years, I met the criteria for disability, and by gawd, I'm happy to get mine while I can. And you know what? Even though I don't pay Social Security taxes anymore I still pay into the system indirectly by helping to pay the wages of the employees of various businesses via my patronage.

So for this elitist creep from Florida to tell me I'm lazy, well he's full of shit. He's got no idea how hard I worked and how much I paid into the system. He sits on his ass and makes judgments about people while he sucks at the government teat. He doesn't pay Social Security taxes on his entire Senate salary, let alone whatever he steals, oops, earns outside of the US Senate.

Hey you hypocritical wet behind the ears junior Senator from Florida, kiss my working class ass. I'm not fucking lazy and neither are the millions of other Americans who pay Social Security taxes on their entire income. If you ask me, you're the fucking lazy one. You're the one who doesn't pay his fair share. You're the one who wants to shred what little is left of the social safety net so your cronies in big business can make more obscene profits. And I hope you're the one who goes belly up in the next financial panic. It would serve you right if you had to go out and actually work for a fucking change.

Deficit cutting recommendations from the Monkerstein Commission

Here's how we end the deficit:

• End the wars of terror on Iraq and Afghanistan and bring all troops and equipment home.
• End all foreign occupations immediately and bring all our troops and equipment home.
• End farm subsidies.
  
• Cut military spending to the bone.
• Institute a 50 percent income tax on individuals making over $250,000 a year. (It used to be 90% back during the 1940's and '50's, and we still created thousands of jobs.)
  
• Make individuals pay Social Security tax on 100 percent of their income, not just the first $106,000.
• Raise corporate taxes.
• Tax all businesses one dollar per square foot for every square foot of land their business occupies.
  
• Tax all religious institutions.
• Legalize and tax industrial hemp.
• Legalize and tax marijuana for recreational use.
• Institute a gas guzzler tax. If you want to buy a huge gas guzzling SUV, then you can... but you have to pay at least half the purchase price back in taxes.
• End all corporate tax breaks on the local, state, and federal levels.
• Heavily tax all forms of gun related ammunition. If you want to own a handgun, fine, but you're going to pay through the nose for bullets.

My plan is a good mix of ending wasteful spending and raising monies to pay for the kinds of things we want as a country. It's much fairer and more balanced than the current plan that just got shit out of Erskine Bowles and Alan Simpson's asses.

And my plan is the center piece of my 2012 presidential campaign. That's right America, Dr. Monkey is once again running for President.

Tax cuts, what can't they do?

The Republicans want more tax cuts, President Obama wants more tax cuts, so it's time we took a closer look at what tax cuts do for us all.

"I caught this fish with a tax cut. And tax cuts got my wife pregnant when I couldn't. I love tax cuts!"

"I'm injecting tax cuts straight into this man's arm. He should be up and around and creating jobs in no time."

"We fired a slew of teachers, firefighters, and cops because of tax cuts. Now our stupid burnt criminal children will be able to find much work in the free market because of tax cuts."

"More tax cuts mean I can line the rest of the walls in my house with luncheon meat!"

"Tax cuts have kept the negro menace at bay for many years. Our white women must be kept pure at all costs, so we must cut taxes even further."

"This just in, tax cuts saved a baby, built a bridge, and invented the internet."

"If it's wrong to masturbate with tax cuts, then I don't want to be right."

"If we raise taxes to rebuild the interstate highway system then Mexicans, Jews, and gays might be tempted to drive more places. We have to cut taxes now so that those kinds of people stay at home and don't spread their cooties to the rest of us. Hail tax cuts! Praise their holy name! Get cleansed in the blood of tax cuts!"

Crazy huh

It turns out that the happiest people in the world live in countries where there are high taxes and high rates of atheism. I'm guessing people love living where their taxes pay for their health care, their kid's college, and it pays for a strong social safety net. Since they don't have to worry about working so hard to pay for life necessities, they have no need to become slaves to out dated Bronze age religions.

So once again, it shows you how wrong conservatives and libertarians are. People do not mind paying taxes as long as they get something tangible for their money, like health care, college educations, unemployment insurance, etc. And notice that some of the world's most successful corporations come from those countries as well, corporations like Nokia, Bang & Olufsen, Lego, Heineken, Vodaphone, and Royal Dutch Shell. Also the unemployment rate in Finland and Denmark routinely hovers around 2%. So the line that business can't survive or thrive in highly taxed countries is nonsense.


If we would just make the rich and big business pay their fair share of taxes we wouldn't have to pay much more to get all the things that other, more civilized, countries have.

Teabaggers speak!

Here's what some of yesterday's tea baggers had to say about the tax day festivities:

"It sure was swell getting out of the house and protesting the high taxes that we haven't been hit with yet. And thanks for not showing my head or my crotch, this way the neither the Department of Homeland Security or Ted Haggard will be able to identify my photo."

"My fellow billionaires really appreciate all you working class morons, oops, I mean, hard working taxpayers supporting our cause."

"I, Napoleon Bonaparte, do hereby declare that able I was ere I saw Elba. Now where is that nice lady who dresses all in white? She brings me my pills and my pudding. I want my pudding!"

"I say old chap, have you seen our careers? They seemed to have vanished as we got older and when you elected that negro fellow to be your President."

"All power to the rich running dog capitalist pigs! Just because their tax cuts and spending freezes haven't worked every time they tried them, that doesn't mean they work work the next time they try them."

"We've got to deregulate business and cut taxes too. If I paid less in taxes then I could afford to have a human wife. Don't get me wrong this mannequin has it's advantages, but I'd like a real gal some day. If only that socialist fascist autocratic Commie Obama would let the free market and love rule!"

"These protests need more color. I recommend some mauve polo shirts and sea foam dungarees."

"Listen, we're your mom and dad and you're embarrassing us. These tea parties are an affront to the people who carried out the original tea party and to sane people everywhere. Have your taxes gone up? No. We agree with you on one thing, some taxes are too high. The ones on the working folks who actually do the work that keeps this country running are way too high. But taxes on people who do things like lobby government, work in investing, play professional sports, who run corporations, and the taxes on corporations are far too low. Those people and companies do not pay their fair share of taxes so they should be taxed at a far high rate than they are now. When you stop with your tax the poor nonsense then we'll take this bar off our faces."

Stimulate who?

Oh wow.

Did you see it?

Did you hear it?

It's out there and it's huge! No, I'm not talking about Jessica Simpson's ass, which is only now beginning to look somewhere near fine if you ask me, I'm talking about the Senate Republican's answer to President Obama's stimulus package.

Predictably it full of the one thing that all Republicans love, no, it's not full of hookers, it's full of tax cuts for the wealthy and for corporations. Crazy huh. They want to cut taxes on themselves and the corporations who they are beholden to, it's their way of stimulating their own economy. The rest of us can go to hell as far as they are concerned. Let's look at the cold hard facts:

• If a bridge gets built in your community the whole community benefits. The construction company hires people in your area to build it. Those people spend their paychecks in your community, thereby benefiting local business. Your state or city gets either sales tax or income tax off the money paid to the workers and your state and city provide all kinds of services to you with that tax revenue.
• When the taxes of rich white people get cut they pocket the money they are going to save that would have gone to pay taxes. Your community doesn't benefit from it. Only the persons whose taxes got cut benefit. And maybe a big bank or Wall Street investment house benefits too. But that's it.

President Obama's stimulus plan has millions for such things as Pell grants which will help kids in your area go to college, public health initiatives which will employ people and benefit your community in the long run, infrastructure repairs, and many other beneficial projects. All of these projects will produce real tangible economic benefits almost immediately in your community. The stimulus package offered by the obscenely wealthy Senate Republicans will have no economic effects on your community whatsoever, unless you live inside a Wall Street bank that is. Heck, I'm still waiting for the economic effects of the Bush tax cuts to kick in and the Reagan tax cuts as well.

My fellow citizens, we should be fed up with watching the rich and powerful in our government take care of only the rich and powerful in the business world. It's time that all the bastards in Washington DC started doing what's right for the vast majority of us and stop doing the bidding of Rush Limbo, ExxonMobil, and IBM. I'd like to say that I hope that the Senate Republican passes so that when our economy tanks even further and they propose more tax cuts to fix it I could point and laugh, but I'm not. I'm not an asshole like a certain fat blowhard drug addict is, so I'm hoping that the Republican plan fails so that the President's plan, which will benefit all Americans in the long run, can pass and succeed.

Rich white people from the 1940's speak out about Sen. Barack Obama

"Seriously? The Democrats nominated black man? Wow, I thought they couldn't get much lower class than Harry Truman. Oh well, you live you learn. I've got to run now, I'm supposed to be oppressing someone somewhere. See you later."

"He reminds me of a butler we had shot once."

"Go away! My hat and I hate you. We want to be left alone so that we can consummate our unholy love."

"As long as the working classes are happy and not paying attention to how we're raping them, then we're fine with the negro fellow."

"I'm in love with him. I mean it. I'm leaving behind my pampered life of luxury to go into the future so that I can canvass for him. If you see my husband tell him I've gone to Luxembourg to buy a pack of Lucky Strikes."

"
"When did blacks get the right to vote? Can women vote now too?"

What twelve year olds can do

So that fat drug addict and law breaker Rush Limbaugh says no twelve year old can come up with something like what Graeme Frost said on his now famous response to our Child Hatin' Chickenhawk in Chief's radio address where he said he was going to veto S-CHIP, you remember S-CHIP right? It's one of the few government programs that has worked under Bush and his gang of thieves. Rush says that no 12 yr old is smart enough to have the kinds of ideas and phrases that young Frost espoused. Well kids, as usual, Rush was wrong.


Apparently in Rush's world only he and maybe his Reich wing twin Michael Malkin, who I'm sorry to say shares my birthday, only they had the intellectual capacity to have advanced thoughts and the ability to covey said thoughts in the proper manner at the tender age of 12. Apparently the rest of us were just learning what our pee pee's and hoo hoo's were and what that watery stuff was that dribbled out of them from time to time. We all must have been tackling semi advanced concepts like zipping up our pants or buttoning our shirts at 12. And maybe, if you were real lucky then you might have been smart enough to use a fork or knife.


Oh wait a sec, maybe it's just the liberals kids who are so stupid they can't think or have ideas for themselves at 12. Oh shit, hang on, that can't be true because liberals teach their children to think for themselves and not to accept the bile that is spewed forth from people like Rush and Michael Mailkin and Hannity.


Speaking from experience when I was 12 I understood very advanced concepts and ideas and I was able to speak at length about them. Why was that? It wasn't because I was especially smart or a freakin' genius or anything, nor was it because I was precocious and I mimicked the speech of adults around me, no, it was because I was taught to read and to think for myself. Of course Graeme Frost could have written his own speech, he seems smart enough to have done so and I for one am grateful he did. What they hate about young Master Frost and his family and that other family is that they had the balls to speak out against the President. All Reich wingers hate dissent and they especially hate people who are smart and who think for themselves. You want proof they hate smart people? Well just go back a few months ago when Rove said that all the President's critics were "effete intellectual snobs." They use that anti intellectual rhetoric when they get caught in yet another lie. And then when they get caught trying to cover up getting caught, they smear whoever they can, whether it's smart 12 yr old boy who was lucky enough to get the medical care he needed to stay alive or whether it's the newest Nobel Peace Prize laureate.


They say the only things you can count on in this life are death and taxes. I'd go ahead and add that you can count on Republicans and their pals in the corporate media to attack anyone who tries to make them be more humane and make them pay more taxes to help out the disadvantaged.