What did you do on Black Friday?

"We went shopping, then we cried our eyes out."

"We silently judged everyone we looked at."

"Prayed that the tests come back negative."

"I told my pets about Jesus."

"Married my horse."

"Went to the gloryhole with my non gay husband."

"I froze my tits off, but camping outside of Best Buy was totally worth it.  I got three bucks off a flat screen TV and some dude groped my ass."

"Look deep in to my eyes...you are getting sleepy, very sleepy..."

"I shamed poor people.  I'm tired of those bastards using all their savings this time of year to buy presents for their lazy kids who won't quit school and get jobs to buy their own cheap presents."

"I spent the day trolling right wingers on Facebook. I love pissing those idiots off."

Happy shopping you morons

I this so called 'Black Friday.'  I hate it with a passion.

A tale of two stores

I went out looking for some Mexican corn flour and guajillo chiles for my Oaxacan yellow mole yesterday. I went in one Mexican 'grocery store' and the proprietor was a young man who did nothing but scowl and glare at me, even after I bought the corn flour from him. I then drove across town to another store that caters to the Latino population to see if they had the guajillos. Not only did they have the dried guajillos, the lady who ran the place, a very pretty Mexican woman in her mid to late 40's, asked me what I was making. I told her that I was making Oaxacan yellow mole with chicken, potatoes, and beans from a recipe that was in a Mexican cookbook that I had been given for Christmas. She smiled warmly and wished me good luck.

Even though I could walk to the first store in question, I'll never ever set foot in Scowly McGlare's store again.

We got a new toy yesterday

We got this pasta maker for under $20 bucks at Ross. Boo ya bitches, fresh pasta for everybody!

Pompadour alert!

I'd like to be able to say that this dude wasn't buying off brand intimate area personal lubricant, spices made in Bosnia, and Christmas CD's that featured the song stylings of people you never heard of, but I can't.

Teh cute

I was trolling the side streets of my fair city one Saturday afternoon not long ago and I happened upon a store that I had never been in before because it was always closed during the week. It had a sign outside it that screamed in big letters GARAGE SALE so I went inside.

I looked around at all the crap the store owner had in boxes that rested on a series of long tables. As I looked at some used books in a box the owner said, "I got a bunch of books in the back that are all two for a dollar." Well kids, that was music to my ears to hear that books could be had that cheaply so I walked to the back of the store.

On my way back there I saw two little kids, one about 4 and the other about 7, who were playing Tekken 3 on a video game system. The older one had some kind of severe disability because he was breathing with the assistance of some kind of oxygen delivery device. The oxygen was piped into a mask he wore over his little mouth and nose. It broke my heart to see him tethered to that machine but I knew without it he'd probably die. His little brother, I noticed, had enough energy for ten kids but he was holding back so that he could hang out with his big bro.

I stood and watched the kids interact as they played the video game.
The little kid, that's him in the orange shirt, just sat there with his eyes wide watching the game unfold all the while pressing all the buttons on the game controller indiscriminately. After one of the fighters in the game whipped the other one and the victorious fighter stood over his vanquished foe, the little kid would say in a triumphant voice, "Yay! I won!"

His brother, who I could tell actually knew what he was doing, would correct his little brother by saying, "No! I won." They went on like that for about 5 minutes and I just stood there watching them. It was possibly the cutest thing I have ever seen.

(I took Sparky by the store yesterday but the boys were not there. However the books still were and we bought a Gunter Grass novel, a copy of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, a copy of The Orchid Thief, and a few more books, all of them brand new. I'm guessing they were the remainders of remaindered books.)

Sign of the times

This sign was on the door of a local junk shop that I sometimes frequent: